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Now he was glad to remember it, as a means of escape. "Listen, Dounia," he began, gravely and drily, "of course I beg your pardon for yesterday, but I consider it my duty to tell you again that I do not withdraw from my chief point. It is me or Luzhin. If I am a scoundrel, you must not be. One is enough. If you marry Luzhin, I cease at once to look on you as a sister." "Rodya, Rodya!
He laughed, "That's right, isn't it, Dounia?" "No, it's not," answered Dounia firmly. "Bah! you, too, have ideals," he muttered, looking at her almost with hatred, and smiling sarcastically.
That blackguard Pyotr Petrovitch couldn't find you better lodgings... But you know I've had a little to drink, and that's what makes me... swear; don't mind it...." "But I'll go to the landlady here," Pulcheria Alexandrovna insisted, "Ill beseech her to find some corner for Dounia and me for the night. I can't leave him like that, I cannot!"
And do you remember, mother, I was in love and wanted to get married?" he said suddenly, looking at his mother, who was disconcerted by the sudden change of subject and the way he spoke of it. "Oh, yes, my dear." Pulcheria Alexandrovna exchanged glances with Dounia and Razumihin. "H'm, yes. What shall I tell you? I don't remember much indeed.
"No, I, I am more to blame than anyone!" said Dounia, kissing and embracing her mother. "I was tempted by his money, but on my honour, brother, I had no idea he was such a base man. If I had seen through him before, nothing would have tempted me! Don't blame me, brother!" "God has delivered us! God has delivered us!"
And so write a letter before to-morrow, to refuse him... Let me read it in the morning and that will be the end of it!" "That I can't do!" the girl cried, offended, "what right have you..." "Dounia, you are hasty, too, be quiet, to-morrow... Don't you see..." the mother interposed in dismay. "Better come away!" "He is raving," Razumihin cried tipsily, "or how would he dare!
"Your request that my brother should not be present at our meeting was disregarded solely at my instance," said Dounia. "You wrote that you had been insulted by my brother; I think that this must be explained at once, and you must be reconciled. And if Rodya really has insulted you, then he should and will apologise." Pyotr Petrovitch took a stronger line.
Raskolnikov went into the room and sank exhausted on a chair. "I feel weak, Dounia, I am very tired; and I should have liked at this moment to be able to control myself." He glanced at her mistrustfully. "Where were you all night?" "I don't remember clearly.
"Why, people in perfect health act in the same way too," observed Dounia, looking uneasily at Zossimov. "There is some truth in your observation," the latter replied. "In that sense we are certainly all not infrequently like madmen, but with the slight difference that the deranged are somewhat madder, for we must draw a line. A normal man, it is true, hardly exists.
Three silver roubles or two 'paper ones' as she says.... that old woman... hm. What does she expect to live upon in Petersburg afterwards? She has her reasons already for guessing that she could not live with Dounia after the marriage, even for the first few months. The good man has no doubt let slip something on that subject also, though mother would deny it: 'I shall refuse, says she.
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