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Updated: June 17, 2025
Napoleon, ambitious creeter! wuz crowned king of Italy in Milan. And I guess old Charlemaigne himself wuz, 'tennyrate a good many kings here had the iron crown set on their forwards. I d'no what made 'em have iron crowns, though Josiah said it would be real handy sometimes.
As queer a sight as I ever see, and here it wuz agin, my Josiah and me a-journeyin' way off in Lapland the idee! The Dahomey Village come next. This shows the homes and customs of that country where the wimmen do all the fightin'. I sez to Josiah, "What a curiosity that wuz!" And he sez, "I d'no about the curiosity on't.
But Vesuvius did put an end to another city called Stabea at that time, most two thousand years ago, but that is some years back and I d'no as it is strange that the news hadn't got to Jonesville yet. Naples has three hundred meetin'-houses, enough you would say to make the citizens do as they ort to. But I don't spoze they do.
The Campanile or bell-tower towers up more than three hundred feet above the pavement; way up on the tower two bronze statutes stand with hammers and strikes off the hours. But how did them doves know two from three? I d'no nor Josiah don't. I had provided Tommy with some food for 'em and they flowed down and lighted on him and Dorothy, who also fed 'em; it wuz a pretty sight.
"Well, I d'no," sez she, "but I'd ruther be killed to once by a club and eat up and be done with than to die by inches as wimmen do under our civilized American license laws. The savages kill their enemies, but the American savage kills the one that loves him best, and has to see her children turned into brutes and ruffians, under what is called a Christian dispensation.
"Well," says Miss Snyder, "I d'no but I should feel safer about my Jim and John to have 'em there in the Fair buildin's than runnin' loose in the streets of Chicago. They won't go to meetin' every Sunday, and I can't make 'em; and if they do go, they will go in the mornin' late, and git out as soon as the Amen is said.
Then the youngest chap him with the old felt hat walked like this. Here he squared his shoulders, put his hands by his side, and marched up and down, looking for all the world like one of them chaps that played at soldiering in Bargo. 'There's no hiding the military air, you think, Billy? said Starlight. 'That fellow was a recruit, and had been drilled lately. 'I d'no.
But I drawed him back, and sez I, "If you've got to be killed here, Josiah Allen, I don't want you killed by a Arab." And he sez, "I d'no but I'd jest as lieves be killed by a Arab as a Turkey. "But," sez he, "you tend to yourself, and I'll tend to myself. I wuz jest a-studyin' human nater, Samantha." And that wuz all the thanks I got for rescuin' him.
Wall, I led Josiah off towards the church, where all the articles of furniture is a big bamboo chair, where the priest sets and meditates when he thinks his people needs his thought. I d'no but it helps 'em some, if he thinks hard enough thoughts are dretful curious things, anyway.
Sez Josiah, "You seem to take to China ways so, you and Arvilly, that I spoze mebby you'll begin to bandage your feet when you git home, and toddle round on your big toes." And I sez, "I d'no but I'd jest as soon do that as to girt myself down with cossets, or walk round with a trailin' dress wipin' up all the filth of the streets to carry home to make my family sick." But it is a awful sight.
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