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Updated: June 19, 2025
"An' the Colonel av the rig'mint had a daughter wan av thim lamblike, bleatin', pick-me-up-an'-carry-me-or-I'll-die gurls such as was made for the natural prey av men like the Capt'n, who was iverlastin' payin' coort to her, though the Colonel he said time an' over, 'Kape out av the brute's way, my dear. But he niver had the heart for to send her away from the throuble, bein' as he was a widower, an' she their wan child."
"Well, you'll shee shome shteering, 'tanyrate." He wiped his forehead and his cap fell off. The old man stooped hurriedly and picked it up for him. "Brace up, Arthur," he said, in an urgent whisper, "an' let the pilot take her down the dock. For God's sake, don't run any risks." "I'm Captain," said the younger man. "Aren't I Capt'n? Well, then, 'nough said!" He went to the bridge rail.
"Hould my harse," sez the Capt'n to his man, an' wid that he gets down wid the whip an' lays into Jungi, just mad wid rage an' swearin' like the scutt he was. 'I thought, afther a while, he wud kill the man, so I sez: "Stop, Sorr, or you'll, murdher him!" That dhrew all his fire on me, an' he cursed me into Blazes, an' out again.
"Yes, sir, it wor," said a bluff cable-man who chanced to overhear the remark, "an' if you wor in the tanks, you'd 'ave blessed Capt'n Halpin for wot he done. W'y, sir, that coat o' whitewash made a difference o' no less than eight degrees in the cable-tanks the moment it was putt on. Before that we was nigh stooed alive. Arter that we've on'y bin baked."
He was a bad dhrill was this Capt'n a rotten bad dhrill an' whin first I ran me eye over him, I sez to myself: "My Militia bantam!" I sez, "My cock av a Gosport dunghill" 'twas from Portsmouth he came to us "there's combs to be cut," sez I, "an' by the grace av God,'tis Terence Mulvaney will cut thim."
I reck'n I ain't quite forgot how: though I am bamfoozled a bit by these hyar parairies consarn them! Ah! them woods, capt'n! it diz one good to look at 'em!" The eyes of the young hunter sparkled with enthusiasm as he spoke. It was a real forest that was before us a large tract covered with gigantic cotton-wood trees, and the only thing deserving the name of forest we had seen for many days.
"All right, Capt'n." Palmer lingered, listening to the talk of the men. Dyke had been an Ohio-River pilot; after the troubles began, had taken a pork-contract under Government; but was lieutenant now, as I said. It paid better than pork, he told Palmer, a commission, especially in damp weather. Palmer did not sneer.
'Jarge, 'e zed, 'if I be took write to my wife and tell 'er it be the Lard's will and she be not to grieve. And I zed, 'So be, Jacob, and you'll do the same for I. Our Officer, Capt'n S T , d'you know 'en, sir? No? 'E com from Devizes way, he wur a grand man, never thinking of hisself but only of us humble chaps he said, 'Now for it, lads, and we advances in 'stended order.
"What's your idea in keeping still about it? What could you gain by being taken aboard a man-of-war?" "I didn't want to have all the work piled on me jess 'cause I could see, capt'n. I never thought anybody could ever see again. I slept partly under No. 2 gun that night, and didn't get it so bad." "You sneaked into my room, got my keys, and raided the treasure-chests.
"Now I knew that the Colonel was no fool, any more than me, for I was hild the smartest man in the rig'mint, an' the Colonel was the best orf'cer commandin' in Asia; so fwhat he said an' I said was a mortial truth. We knew that the Capt'n was bad, but, for reasons which I have already oblitherated, I knew more than me Colonel.
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