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He cleared his voice and went on in rather a higher tone: "I think you forget, Ivan Andreievitch, another aspect of this affair. It is not only a question of our private family disputes. Nina has come here to assist me in my national work. As a member of the Soviet I may, without exaggeration, claim to have an opportunity in my hands that has been offered in the past to few human beings.
"Why doesn't he go back to his own country?" "I suppose," I would answer hotly, "he has other things to do than to consider your individual wishes, Alexei Petrovitch." Then he would laugh: "Well, well, Ivan Andreievitch, you sentimentalists all hang together." "Why can't you leave him alone?" I remember that I continued. "Because he doesn't leave me alone," he answered shortly.
But I felt then that I had to satisfy myself. I wonder whether I can make you understand. It wasn't jealousy exactly, because I had never felt that I had had any very strong right over Vera, considering the way that she had married me; but I don't think I ever loved her more than I did during those weeks, and she was unattainable. I was lonely, Ivan Andreievitch, that's the truth.
I shall offer no resistance, I promise you." Suddenly he changed. He came closer to me. His weary, exhausted eyes gazed straight into mine: "Ivan Andreievitch, never mind about the rest never mind whether you do or don't hate me, that matters to nobody. What I tell you is the truth. I have come to you, as I have always come to you, like the moth to the flame. Why am I always pursuing you?
I haven't noticed on their side any very great signs of devotion." He laughed. "No, you haven't noticed, Ivan Andreievitch. But there, you don't really notice very much. You think you see the devil of a lot and are a mighty clever fellow; but we're Russians, you know, and it takes more than sentimental mysticism to understand us.
It is my affair, Ivan Andreievitch. I couldn't live with Vera and Nicholas any longer." Grogoff then interfered. "I think this is about enough...." he said. "I have given you your opportunity. Nina has been quite clear in what she has said. She does not wish to return. There is your answer."
"Find there Colonel Maximoff and get direct orders from him. Return as soon as possible. They say we're not likely to have wounded until late this afternoon a good thing as a lot wants doing to this place. Hasten, Ivan Andreievitch. No time to lose." Vulatch was a little town situated ten versts to our right in the Forest.
They used to say I was brave about the wounded, brave at S , brave at operations ... if they only knew! You only, Ivan Andreievitch, have seen me afraid, you only!..." She looked at me, her eyes searching my face: "Isn't it strange that you who do not love me know me, perhaps, better than John and yes, better than Alexei. That's why I tell you I can talk to you.
Semyonov with his usual stolid self-possession came towards us, greeted us, then turning to me said: "I've come to take your place, Ivan Andreievitch." "My place?" I stammered. "Yes. You're wanted there. You're to return at once in the britchka.... In half an hour, if you don't mind." "And you'll stay?" "And I'll stay." No one else said anything.
The stove was unlighted and the room was very cold. My heart ached for Nina. A moment after Grogoff came in. He came forward to me very amiably, holding out his hand. "Nu, Ivan Andreievitch.... What can I do for you?" he asked, smiling. And how he had changed! He was positively swollen with self-satisfaction.
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