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Some scent I hold by the side of my mouth, and, turning to the moon, I sing my sentiments. With self-pitying lines pages I fill, so as utterance to give to all my cares and woes. From these few scanty words, who could fathom the secrets of my heart about the autumntide?
At first he saw that this sense of being wronged made it impossible for her to do anything at all toward educating herself for her position. But time brought about the change he had hoped for. A few weeks, and she began to cheer up, almost in spite of herself. What was the use in sulking or sighing or in self-pitying, when it brought only unhappiness to oneself?
I wish that here and now you would make up your mind to give up everything " He stopped speaking, and bending, kissed her hand. "Yes," she said dreamily. "Give up everything, Bill? Perhaps I will. But what do you mean by everything?" There was a self-pitying note in her low, vibrant voice. "You know it is given to people, sometimes, to choose between good and evil.
No, not tears for the recording angel, not good, man's size, soul-washing tears of repentance, but miserable, dwarf, useless, self-pitying, corroding tears tears of shame and rage, for the proud, God-mocking, man-cheating, powerful, faithless, arrogant John Barclay, dealer in the Larger Good.
Thomas's want of faith was shown in the grumbling, self-pitying way in which he said, 'Let us also go that we may die with him. His Master had said that he was going to wake him. Thomas said, 'that we may die with him. You may say, 'He did not understand him. True, it may be, but his unbelief was the cause of his not understanding him.
Hundreds and thousands had touched his inner life since Rhoda moved West with her parents, but that gleam of girlhood had remained etched with the clearness of a miniature upon his mind, undimmed by the crowding, jostling throng. Rhoda Burrows, the fairy-child of his boyish dreams, and Mrs. Herman Judson, the acme of self-pitying and self-petting selfishness, the same!
The miseries she felt to be around her, miseries of which she was the cause, overwhelmed her with a warm, continuous stream of self-pitying tears, and her voice failed as she uttered a little girl's broken plaint: "Oh, I'm wretched! Oh, I'm wretched! I can't go on like this: it's choking me. It's too hard to be misunderstood and to see them all siding against you because they're stronger.
In a life-time of anxiety and effort she was hardly more communicative or self-pitying than her son; and Gaisford divined that more than ordinary compulsion had sent her to him. "Speaking as a friend of both parties," he said, "I don't know what the hitch is.
His eyes must have conveyed his repulsion, for she spoke as if answering them. "You mustn't mind my clothes. They're done for." She looked down, self-pitying, at her poor slippered feet standing in a pool of rain. "I'm making such a mess of your nice hall." A little laugh shook in her throat and turned into a fit of coughing.
When she left that afternoon, Alice had sent a grateful message to John. "He will come out to-morrow if he can?" she had asked. She knew now that the hours were numbered without being told so by the doctors. And never a tear, a self-pitying cry! Oh, to be like that, sturdy in heart and soul, with that courage before life, that serene confidence in face of the worst fate can offer!
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