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Updated: June 15, 2025
The world is agreed about that, and therefore the New Yorker is in a bad way. There are very few citizens in any town known to me which under this dispensation are in a good way, but the New Yorker is in about the worst way of all.
"In the first place," he began after we were comfortably seated, "I knew the gentleman was no New Yorker because he was flushed and uneasy and restless on account of the ladies that were standing, although he did not rise and give them his seat. I decided from his appearance that he was a Southerner rather than a Westerner.
I now noticed that the New Yorker was looking at his gun-metal watch about every two minutes with an expression of alarm. Jake Berger noticed it, too, and again leaned heavily on the conversation. "Not keeping you up, are we?" says Jake.
Jeff Tuttle was now dancing in an extreme manner with a haggard society bud aged thirty-five, and only Jake and me was left at our table. We didn't count the New Yorker any longer; he was merely raising his glass to his lips at regular intervals. He moved something like an automatic chess player I once saw.
"Everybody knows it here," said Daphne slowly. "Mrs. Verrier married three years ago. She married a Jew a New Yorker who had changed his name. You know Jews are not in what we call 'society' over here? But Madeleine thought she could do it; she was in love with him, and she meant to be able to do without society.
"No more his aunt in reality than Jack Tullis is his uncle. I thought you understood." "Who are you, then?" "I am Jack Tullis's sister, a New Yorker bred and born, and I live not more than two blocks from your " "For the love of " he began blankly; then words failed him, which was just as well. He gulped twice, joy or unbelief choking him.
He was feeling awful desolate about this. He pointed out different parties at tables around us, saying they was merchant princes from Sandusky or prominent Elks from Omaha or roystering blades from Pittsburgh or boulevardeers from Bucyrus not a New Yorker in sight.
I am puzzled to know if they really hate Chicago more than any other spot on earth, or if they simply love to hear me fight for it, or if their manners need improving. For even as a Parisian loves his Paris, and as a New Yorker loves his London, so do I love my Chicago. It was a fortunate thing, after all, that I went to London first, and had my first great astonishment there.
Yet, to my shame be it spoken, I am not prepared with any generalisation as to the American character. It has been my good fortune to see a great deal of literary and artistic New York, and, comparing it with literary and artistic London, I am inclined to say "Pompey and Cæsar berry much alike specially Pompey!" The New Yorker is far more cosmopolitan than the Londoner; of that there is no doubt.
And," added Kerns softly, "no New Yorker in his right mind can go galloping through these five boroughs very long before he's roped, tied, and marked by the 'only girl in the world' the only girl if you don't care to turn around and look at another million girls precisely like her. O Lord! precisely like her!" Here was a nice exhorter to incite others to matrimony.
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