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I'm happy and I want you to be you great, hulking, self-satisfied symbol of supreme self-centered selfishness " "Oh, splash!" said Kerns feebly. "Yes, you are. What do you do all day? Grub for money and study how to make life agreeable to yourself! Every minute of the day you are occupied in having a good time! You've admitted it!

He said you would probably come, and he begged us to strain every effort in your behalf, because, he said, your happiness absolutely depended upon our finding for you the woman you were seeking. . . . And I tried very hard and now she's found. You admit that and now you say " "I say that one of these balmy summer days I'll assassinate Tommy Kerns!" broke in Gatewood.

Why should I, with this taste in my mouth, and the laundress using vitriol, and Henry sneering at my cigars?" He yawned and cast his eyes toward the ceiling. "Besides, there's too much gilt all over this club! There's too much everywhere. Half the world is stucco, the rest rococo. Where's that Martini I bid for?" Kerns, undisturbed, applied himself to cocoa and toasted muffins.

Keen, could encompass my matrimony against my better sense and the full enjoyment of my unimpaired mental faculties?" "Didn't he fortunately for me force me into matrimony when I had never seen a woman I would look at twice? Didn't you put him up to it? Very well, why can't I put him on your trail then? Why can't he do the same for you?" "Try it, dear friend," retorted Kerns courteously.

There is nobody in No. 38: Mr. Kerns leaves there to-night and the Burglar Alarm Company takes charge to-morrow." And, turning to the others: "You," nodding at the reformed burglar, "know your duty. Mike!" to the cab driver, "don't miss Mr. Kerns at the Lenox Club. If he calls you before eleven, drive into the park and have an accident.

The dinner that Kerns had planned for himself and Gatewood was an ingenious one, cunningly contrived to discontent Gatewood with home fare and lure him by its seductive quality into frequent revisits to the club which was responsible for such delectable wines and viands. A genial glow already enveloped Gatewood and pleasantly suffused Kerns.

"I don't want to see her; I'm not interested. I never saw but one girl in my life who interested me in the slightest; and she's employed to help in this ridiculous search." Kerns, meanwhile, had smoothed out the telegram and was intently perusing it: "John Gatewood, Lenox Club, Fifth Avenue: "Person probably discovered. Call here as soon as possible.

"The uncivil kerns of Ireland are in arms." During more recent times, the knowledge of Scotland on this side the border, which before was greatly in advance, has again increased in afar greater degree than the knowledge of Ireland. It is to Mr.

"All the same," insisted Kerns, "did you ever consider that if your ideal does exist somewhere, it is morally up to you to find her?" "Haven't I inspected every débutante for ten years? You don't expect me to advertise for an ideal, do you object, matrimony?" Kerns regarded him intently. "Now, I'm going to make a vivid suggestion, Jack.

"Yes, I do," smiled Mrs. Gatewood. "Nonsense. Besides, what of it? She's married, you say." "Her husband died of enteric at Ladysmith. She wrote me. She has never remarried. Think of it, John in all these years she has never remarried!" "Oh!" said Gatewood pityingly; "do you really suppose that Tommy Kerns has been nursing a blighted affection all these years without ever giving me an inkling?