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Heereupon calling such Captaines and gentlemen of my company as then were at hand, who were all as priuy as my selfe to the Generals offer; their whole request was to me, that considering the case that we stood in, the weaknesse of our company, the small number of the same, the carying away of our first appointed barke, with those two especiall Masters, with our principall provisions in the same, by the very hand of God as it seemed, stretched out to take vs from thence; considering also, that his second offer, though most honourable of his part, yet of ours not to be taken, insomuch as there was no possibility for her with any safety to be brought into the harbour: seeing furthermore, our hope for supply with Sir Richard Greenuill, so vndoubtedly promised vs before Easter, not yet come, neither then likely to come this yeere, considering the doings in England for Flanders, and also for America, that therefore I would resolue my selfe with my company to goe into England in that fleet, and accordingly to make request to the Generall in all our names, that he would be pleased to giue vs present passage with him.
However, when I came home I told my wife of it, and to see my weaknesse, I could on the sudden have found my heart to have offered her one, but second thoughts put it by, and indeed it would undo me to think of doing as Sir W. Batten and his Lady do, who has a good estate besides his office. A good dinner we had of boeuf a la mode, but not roasted so well as my wife used to do it.
After some six weeks fatting amongst those Salvage Courtiers, at the minute of my execution, she hazarded the beating out of her owne braines to save mine, and not onely that, but so prevailed with her father, that I was safely conducted to Jamestowne, where I found about eight and thirty miserable poore and sicke creatures, to keepe possession of all those large territories of Virginia, such was the weaknesse of this poore Commonwealth, as had the Salvages not fed us, we directly had starved.
And of the first, he saith that the Body is "Sown in Corruption, raised in Incorruption; sown in Dishonour, raised in Honour; sown in Weaknesse, raised in Power; sown a Naturall body, raised a Spirituall body:" There is no such thing can be said of the bodies of them that rise to Punishment. The text is Luke 20. Verses 34,35,36. a fertile text.
This doth labour, force, and extend himselfe, to arme and strengthen vertue against weaknesse, feare, and vitious desires; the other seemeth nothing so much to feare their force or attempt, and in a manner scorneth to hasten or change his pace about them, and to put himselfe upon his guard.
However, when I came home I told my wife of it, and to see my weaknesse, I could on the sudden have found my heart to have offered her one, but second thoughts put it by, and indeed it would undo me to think of doing as Sir W. Batten and his Lady do, who has a good estate besides his office. A good dinner we had of boeuf a la mode, but not roasted so well as my wife used to do it.
Besides this, we did greatly feare that the people of the countrey would perceiue our weaknesse and miserie, which to hide, our Captaine, whom it pleased God alwayes to keepe in health, would go out with two or three of the company, some sicke and some whole, whom when he saw out of the Fort, he would throw stones at them and chide them, faigning that so soone as he came againe, he would beate them, and then with signes shewe the people of the countrey that hee caused all his men to worke and labour in the ships, some in calking them, some in beating of chalke, some in one thing, and some in another, and that he would not haue them come foorth till their worke was done.
Wherein he hath discouered their weaknesse, and honorably performed more then could be in reason expected of him: which had he not done, would not these maligners, who seeke occasions of slander, haue reported him to be suspicious of a people, of whose infidelity he had no testimony: and to be fearefull without cause, if he had refused to giue credit to their promises without any aduenture?
The 8 we arriued at Hampton, where we vnderstood that our consort the Admirall was come to Portsmouth, and had bene there three weekes before: and also that Ferdinando the Master with all his company were not onely come home without purchase, but also in such weaknesse by sicknesse, and death of their chiefest men, that they were scarse able to bring their ship into harbour, but were forced to let fall anker without, which they could not wey againe, but might all haue perished there, if a small barke by a great hap had not come to them to helpe them.
However I reproached myself with my weaknesse in yielding so much my judgment to my sense, and prevailed with difficulty and did not budge, but stayed within, and, to my great content, did a great deale of business, and so home to supper and to bed. This day I am told that Moll Davis, the pretty girle, that sang and danced so well at the Duke's house, is dead.
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