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Updated: April 30, 2025
"'I do not, sez I. 'I saw you whin Vulmea mishandled the rifle. But, Sargint, I sez, 'take the wurrd from me now, spakin' as man to man wid the shtripes off, tho' 'tis little right I have to talk, me being fwhat I am by natur'. This time ye tuk no harm, an' next time ye may not, but, in the ind, so sure as Slimmy's wife came into the veranda, so sure will ye take harm an' bad harm.
Afther they was all gone, I wint back to Canteen an' called for a quart to put a thought in me. Vulmea was there, dhrinkin' heavy, an' politeful to me beyond reason. "Fwhat will I do fwhat will I do?" thinks I to mesilf whin Vulmea wint away.
'Have ye not lost him? sez Vulmea, wipin' the sweat on him; 'Let's ha' done quick! 'Quick ut is, sez Kiss t'rowin' him the kyard; an' ut fell face up on his knee Black Jack! "Thin they all cackled wid laughin'. 'Duty thrippence, sez wan av thim, 'an' damned cheap at that price! But I cud see they all dhrew a little away from Vulmea an' lef' him sittin' playin' wid the kyard.
Then I tuk my boot an' the clanin'-rod and knocked out the pin av the fallin'-block. Oh, 'twas music when that pin rowled on the flure! I put ut into my pouch an' stuck a dab av dirt on the holes in the plate, puttin' the fallin'-block back. "That'll do your business, Vulmea," sez I, lyin' easy on the cot.
Vulmea sez no word for a whoile but licked his lips cat-ways. Thin he threw up his head an' made the men swear by ivry oath known to stand by him not alone in the room but at the Coort-martial that was to set on me! He tould off five av the biggest to stretch me on my cot whin the shot was fired, an' another man he tould off to put out the light, an' yet another to load my rifle.
I cud see O'Hara in the light av the veranda lamp, an' thin I heard the crack av my rifle. She cried loud, poor darlint, bein' mishandled. Next minut' five men were houldin' me down. 'Go easy, I sez; 'fwhat's ut all about? "Thin Vulmea, on the flure, raised a howl you cud hear from wan ind av cantonmints to the other. 'I'm dead, I'm butchered, I'm blind! sez he.
"'Why, 'tis my rifle! sez I, comin' up to look; 'Vulmea, ye divil, fwhat were you doin' wid her answer me that? "'Lave me alone, sez Vulmea; 'I'm dyin'! "'I'll wait till you're betther, sez I, 'an' thin we two will talk ut out umbrageous. "O'Hara pitched Tim into the doolie, none too tinder, but all the bhoys kep' by their cots, which was not the sign av innocint men.
'Ear!" said Ortheris, pointing the moral with a wave of his pipe, "An' this is 'im 'oo would be a bloomin' Vulmea all for the sake of Mullins an' a bloomin' button! Mullins never went after a woman in his life. Mrs. Mullins, she saw 'im one day" "Ortheris," I said, hastily, for the romances of Private Ortheris are all too daring for publication, "look at the sun. It's quarter past six!" "O Lord!
'Tis little betther I am now. 'I will get Houligan to pour a bucket over my head, thinks I, an' I wud ha' risen, but I heard some wan say: 'Mulvaney can take the blame av ut for the backslidin' hound he is. "'Oho! sez I, an' my head rang like a guard-room gong: 'fwhat is the blame that this young man must take to oblige Tim Vulmea? For 'twas Tim Vulmea that shpoke.
'I turned on my belly an' crawled through the grass, a bit at a time, to where the spache came from. There was the twelve av my room sittin' down in a little patch, the dhry grass wavin' above their heads an' the sin av black murdher in their hearts. I put the stuff aside to get a clear view. "Fwhat's that?" sez wan man, jumpin' up. "A dog," says Vulmea. "You're a nice hand to this job!
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