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Updated: May 23, 2025
A little while after, I too went out of the house and set off to see Tarhov. Without inquiring of any one, with a student's usual lack of ceremony, I walked straight into his lodgings. In the first room there was no one. I called Tarhov by name, and receiving no answer, was just going to retreat; but the door of the adjoining room opened, and my friend appeared.
My grandmother had long been dead; I was living in Petersburg, with a post in the Department of Home Affairs. Tarhov I had lost sight of; he had gone into the army, and lived almost always in the provinces. We had met twice, as old friends, glad to see each other; but we had not touched on the past in our talk. At the time of our last meeting he was, if I remember right, already a married man.
'Why, Tarhov was right, flashed through my head; 'this girl is a new type. 'You've no need to be afraid of me, I declared, at last. 'Truly? Even, if ... You said something about our relations.... But even if there were ... she broke off. 'Even in that case, you would have no need to be afraid, Musa Pavlovna. I am not your judge. Your secret is buried here. I pointed to my bosom.
I could not make up my mind whether or no to congratulate myself on the success of my sermon, when Tarhov suddenly got up, and pressing both my hands, said, speaking very quickly, 'Thank you, thank you. You're right, of course, ... though, on the other side, one might observe ... What is your Baburin you make so much of, after all? An honest fool and nothing more!
Under the shade of her thick, low brows her dark eyes darted to and fro elusively. There are dark, swift, flashing beetles that flit so in the heat of summer among the blades of dry grass. 'How good you are, Musa, Musotchka! cried Tarhov. 'But you must stay, you must stay a little.... We'll have the samovar in directly. 'Oh no, Vladimir Nikolaevitch! it's impossible! I must go away this minute.
Directly I crossed the threshold of his door, Tarhov came resolutely, rapidly, to meet me, and his eyes sparkling and glowing, his face grown handsomer and radiant, he said firmly and briskly: 'Listen, Petya, my boy; I guess what you've come for, and what you want to talk about; but I give you warning, if you say a single word about her, or about her action, or about what, according to you, is the course dictated to me by common sense, we're friends no longer, we're not even acquainted, and I shall beg you to treat me as a stranger.
'You must rest a little, anyway. You're out of breath.... You're tired. 'I'm not tired. It's ... not that ... only ... give me another book; I've finished this one. She took out of her pocket a tattered grey volume of a Moscow edition. 'Of course, of course. Well, did you like it? Roslavlev, added Tarhov, addressing me. 'Yes. Only I think Yury Miloslavsky is much better.
For about a quarter of an hour my discourse flowed on. Tarhov was still silent. I began to be disconcerted by this silence. I glanced at him from time to time, not so much to satisfy myself as to the impression my words were making on him, as to find out why he neither objected nor agreed, but sat like a deaf mute. At last I fancied that there was ... yes, there certainly was a change in his face.
I looked at Tarhov; he was quivering all over inwardly, like a tightly drawn harpstring; he was tingling all over, hardly could he hold back the tide of brimming youth and passion; violent, ecstatic happiness had burst into his soul, and had taken full possession of him and he of it. 'Is that your final decision? I pronounced mournfully. 'Yes, Petya, my boy, it's final.
Holding forth in this manner, I walked up and down the room, to be more at ease. Tarhov did not interrupt me, and did not stir from his seat; he only played with his fingers on his chin. You won't marry her, you know. And at the same time you are wrecking the happiness of an excellent, honest man, her benefactor and who knows? And so on, and so on!
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