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Updated: May 25, 2025
When precious lives have a bin saved, and when there a bin shootins, and leapins, and swimmins, and sousins, I say as aforesaid, why that's a summut; and a man's own son mayhap won't a like to be flamdudgind. And so as to mortgages to be paid off, your onnurable onnur, why mayhap that's a sooner said nur done.
Says I, "Go slow, Finny, go slow." "We wish to hear," continued Mr. Finnigan, moderatin his stile summut, "from our townsman, Mr. Ward." I beg'd to be declined, but it wan't no use. I rose amid a perfeck uproar of applause. I said we had convened there in a meetin, as I understood it, or rather in a body, as it were, in reference to Ireland.
'What is it? asked Miss Abbey. 'It's summut run down in the fog, ma'am, answered Bob. 'There's ever so many people in the river. 'Tell 'em to put on all the kettles! cried Miss Abbey. 'See that the boiler's full. Get a bath out. Hang some blankets to the fire. Heat some stone bottles. Have your senses about you, you girls down stairs, and use 'em.
"Noa, noa!" said Dummie, archly, "I does n't tell you all, till you tells I summut. Vhere's little Paul, I say; and vhere be us to get at him?" Ned heaved a sigh.
'Summut fell on him retributive, as you might call it. For, would you believe it, the man had at the moment been threatenin' me? He did. He said, "I know damn well about you, Dignum; and for all your damn ingenuity, I'll bring you with a crack to the ground yet." "What had happened? Nobody knew, sir.
You're got upon a sore subject; it is time summut was done, we're losing all the girls and boys, there'll be none at all thirty years hence." "Surely you don't mean," said Mrs Franklin anxiously, "that there is any unusual mortality just now among children."
"Well," said I, "thank you for your advice, which I will take, and, if successful, will give you 'summut' handsome." "Thank you," said the ostler; "and now let me ask whether you are up to all the ways of this here place?" "I have never been here before," said I, "but I have a pair of tolerably sharp eyes in my head."
"For there be summut in it," continued the clerk, "which smooths a man's heart like a clothes-brush, wipes away the dust and dirt, and sets all the nap right; and I thinks as how 'tis what a clerk of the parish ought to study, your honour." "Nothing better; you speak like an oracle." "Now, Sir, there be the Corporal, honest man, what thinks himself mighty clever, but he has no soul for varse.
He said that no man could desire more jolly or entertaining companions over a glass of "summut;" but that upon the road it was anything but desirable to meet them; there they were terrible, cursing and swearing, and thrusting the muzzles of their pistols into people's mouths; and at this part of his locution the old man winked, and said, in a somewhat lower voice, that upon the whole they were right in doing so, and that when a person had once made up his mind to become a highwayman, his best policy was to go the whole hog, fearing nothing, but making everybody afraid of him; that people never thought of resisting a savage-faced, foul-mouthed highwayman, and if he were taken, were afraid to bear witness against him, lest he should get off and cut their throats some time or other upon the roads; whereas people would resist being robbed by a sneaking, pale-visaged rascal, and would swear bodily against him on the first opportunity, adding, that Abershaw and Ferguson, two most awful fellows, had enjoyed a long career, whereas two disbanded officers of the army, who wished to rob a coach like gentlemen, had begged the passengers' pardon, and talked of hard necessity, had been set upon by the passengers themselves, amongst whom were three women, pulled from their horses, conducted to Maidstone, and hanged with as little pity as such contemptible fellows deserved.
"Take a pull, Roger, and pass the flask," was the cordial prescription of Ben Burke, intended to cure a dead silence, generated equally of eager appetites and self-accusing consciences; so saying, he produced a quart wicker-bottle, which enshrined, according to his testimony, "summut short, the right stuff, stinging strong, that had never seen the face of a wishy-washy 'ciseman."
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