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And there was little Willie, hemmed in by a twelve-foot wall on three sides and solid squads of girls on the fourth! First they began sailin' by in groups of twos and threes and fours, all givin' me the goo-goo stare and snickerin'. Honest, you'd thought I was some kind of a humorous curiosity, specially exhibited for the occasion. Ain't they the limit, though?
Babe travelled from the sideboard to the table, trembling like chocolate pudding. Cady insisted on bringing in the cakes herself, and grinned as she whisked her starched blue skirts in and out of the dining-room. A dimple even showed itself at the corners of pretty Alicia's prim little mouth. Champe giggled, till Ross heard Cady whisper: "Now you got one dem snickerin' spells agin.
"Well, that set some of the kids a snickerin'; and one of 'em, a boy about Pete's size, says, 'Gee! what a name. Pete walks over to him and says, 'My Ma likes it, and anything she likes goes, see, and with that he pastes the kid one in the eye, and right there they goes for each other fierce. "Sure the teacher stopped 'em.
"YOU a editer?" he axed, evijently on the pint of snickerin. "Yes Sir," sez I; "don't I look poor enuff?" "Just about," sed he, "but our Road can't pars you." "Can't, hay?" "No Sir it can't." "Becauz," sez I, lookin him full in the face with a Eagle eye, "IT GOES SO DARNED SLOW IT CAN'T PARS ANYBODY!" Methinks I had him thar. It's the slowest Rale Road in the West.
By this time the bell buzzes again, and Helma shows in a dumpy little woman with partly gray hair and Baldwin apple cheeks evidently a friend of Auntie's by the way they go to a clinch. "Mrs. Mumford," says Vee. "Auntie's donation to the party, eh?" says I. "Just listen to her coo!" "S-s-sh!" says Vee, snickerin'.
And the way they was tumbling over each other, tryin' to chew with their tiny teeth, and scrimmagin' around like so many boys playin' football in a back lot well, I couldn't help snickerin' just watchin' 'em for a minute. "All spoke for but dees wan," says Joe, fishing out one of the lot. "Meester Parks he pick heem first wan, but now he hafta go by Chicago and no can take. Fine chance for you.
I'd love, when they was snickerin', and pokin' fun at me, and actin' and jeerin' and sneerin', and callin' me all to nort, I'd love to spring onto 'em, and roar." "Hush, Josiah," says I. "Be calm! be calm!" "I won't be calm! I can't see into it," he hollered. "Why, what lifted Letitia Lanfear right up, didn't lift me up. Hain't what's sass for the goose, sass for the gander?" "No," says I sadly.
But jest at that minute in come Josiah Allen a snickerin'; and says he, "I have done it now, Samantha. I have done somethin' now, that is new and uneek." And as he see my strange and awful looks, he continued, "You know, you always say that you want a change now and then, and somethin' new, to pass away time." "And I shall most probable get it," says I, groanin', "as long as I live with you.
He wuz dretful excited, so I hearn, about Metilda's case thought it wuz highly incumbient on the meetin' house to have her made a example of, so's to try to abolish such wicked doin's as snickerin' out in meetin'. "I wonder how he would have liked it to have had Charley Lanfear's mother set on him?
Yes, Lord!" in a voice like a fact'ry whistle. Wa'al, after a little the' was some snickerin' an' gigglin' an' scroughin' an' hustlin' in the back part, an' even some of the serioustest up in front would kind o' smile, an' the moderator leaned over an' says to one of the bretherin on the platform, "Brother Jones," he says, "can't you git down to the back of the hall an' say somethin' to quiet Brother Smith?
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