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Updated: May 27, 2025
For he was no puling schoolboy, but a man, game to the core. The face of another man rose before her, saturnine and engaging and debonair. With the picture came wave on wave of shame. He was a detected villain, and she had let him kiss her. But beneath the self-scorn was something new, something that stung her blood, that left her flushed and tingling with her first experience of sex relations.
I will not say that, as she lay awake in the dark, the eyes of Alexa never renewed the tears of that autumn night on which she turned her back upon the pride of self, but her tears were never those of bitterness, of self-scorn, or of self-pity. "If I am to be pitied," she would say to herself, "let the Lord pity me! I am not ashamed, and will not be sorry.
The futility, the insignificance of all that man desires, all that waits on him that old self-scorn, which began with the race, tormented him none the less, in dying, for the myriads it had haunted so before.
Sometimes, in my solitude, I laughed with the bitterness of self-scorn, remembering how unreservedly I had given up my heart and soul to interests that were not mine. What had I ever had to do with them? And why, being now free, should I take this thraldom on me once again?
He acknowledged with self-scorn that his eagerness to break through Tollman's force of possession went back to a motive more selfish than exalted. He was driven by a personal craving to hold another man's wife in his arms. He was tempted by the sense of insurmountable power which he knew he held upon her thoughts, her love and her imagination.
By social theory they were intimate companions; in reality, no man and woman in all England were wider apart. From his elevation he looked down on her with commiseration that was heightened by curiosity and amazement; and she daily writhed under his gracious condescension and passionless urbanity; under her own consciousness of inferiority and consequent self-scorn.
Extending beyond the wall, the flooring of the house made a little platform outside, and, as the opening of the door illuminated this, a man came quietly across the threshold with clumsy gait. This man was no ghost. What fear of the supernatural had gathered about Trenholme's mind fell off from it instantly in self-scorn.
Her hand tightened on his arm, her breath came pantingly, now quickly, now slowly. "Father I have come to you. Most girls go to their mother. I have none. I come to you because I must! You ask me to put the the idea out of my head." She laughed a low laugh of self-scorn and bitterness.
Therefore it was not the fact of the broken vows, but the idea of Seraphine wedded to the brave Crusader, which so greatly roused your ire." The Prioress stood silent. Her hot anger cooled, enveloped in the chill mantle of self-revelation and self-scorn. It seemed to her that the gentle words of the Bishop indeed expressed the truth far more correctly than he knew.
Bred of a fighting line, the acid of self-scorn began eating into his pride, and when a few days later he halted at a wayside smithy, which was really only a "blind-tiger," and came upon a drinking crowd, the ferment of his thoughts developed into action. Sol Breck was sitting with his back turned as the boy strolled in and it chanced that he was talking about Alexander.
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