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Updated: May 10, 2025
This my friend the General thought a poser; but, however, he determined on trying what virtue there was not in stones, like the "old man" with the "young saucebox," but in a much more potent article, whisky; so, after having stated that although he had not served, yet he was as ready to serve against "the hired assassins of England" this is the term by which the Americans designate our troops as his opponent, he concluded by saying, "Boys, Mr. has told you that he is ready to lead you to a cannon's mouth now I don't wish you any such misfortune as getting the contents of a cannon in your bowels, but if necessary, perhaps, I'd lead you as far as he would; however, men, the short and the long of it is, instead of leading you to the mouth of a cannon, I'll lead you this instant to the mouth of a barrel of whisky."
"No, saucebox, I don't; but I mean to turn my knife-grinder's wheel into a wheel of fortune; and with your help I will do so." "You are sure of my help if you are serious," replied Joey; "but how you are to manage I cannot comprehend."
Impertinence wouldn't do that. I shall strike out a new line. I'm the cook, or the chambermaid, which is it? that they haven't had any of before. I shall keep my sharp relishes for our own private table. You might discriminate, Bel! I know I've got a kind of a pert, snappy-sounding name, just like the outside of me; but if you stop to look at it, it isn't Saucebox, but Sensebox!
We in the meanwhile got on as fast as we could, encouraging and reproaching each other. 'Faster, my Lizzy! Oh, what a bad runner! 'Faster, faster! Oh, what a bad runner! echoed my saucebox. 'You are so fat, Lizzy, you make no way! 'Ah! who else is fat? retorted the darling. Certainly her mother is right; I do spoil that child. By this time we were thoroughly soaked, all three.
"Your own?" asked the girl teasingly. "No, saucebox. My boy, John's. His, and all the rest of 'em." "Toward whom?" "Oh! 'tisn't toward anybody, out and out. If it was I'd roll up my sleeves and switch the lot of 'em, just as if they were the little tackers they act like. It's them pesky hints and shrugged shoulders, every time the Dutch Winklers or 'Forty-niner' is spoke of.
We took a good deal of pains with our room: half of it was mine now. I had my knick-knack table as well as Eleanor, my own books and pictures, my own photographs of the boys and of the dear boys, my own pot plants, and my own dog a pug, given to me by Jack, and named "Saucebox." In Jack's absence, Pincher also looked on me as his mistress.
D. Dear Madam, would you blame me, if to wish you not to marry Mr. Antony Harlowe, is to wish well to myself? M. You are mighty witty. I wish you were as dutiful. D. I am more dutiful, I hope, than witty; or I should be a fool as well as a saucebox. M. Let me be judge of both Parents are only to live for their children, let them deserve it or not. That's their dutiful notion!
Here, ma'am, ketch hold on it, and give the boys a sheet on't all round, 'gainst it tumbles inter t'other boot next time yer want it." If a look could annihilate, Francis Saucebox would have ceased to exist; but it couldn't; therefore, he yet lives, to aggravate some unhappy woman's soul, and wax fat in some equally congenial situation.
"Well, I will let you go, for you look a baby. But do not beg: that is bad." "Findelkind did it." "Then Findelkind was a rogue and a vagabond," said the taker of tolls. "Oh, no, no, no!" "Oh, yes, yes, yes, little saucebox! and take that," said the man, giving him a box on the ear, being angry at contradiction.
D. Only, that if you marry a man of his time of life, you stand two chances instead of one, to be a nurse at your time of life. M. Saucebox! D. Dear Madam! What I mean is only that these healthy old men sometimes fall into lingering disorders all at once.
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