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Updated: May 27, 2025
Cuss them sarvants! it takes seven or eight of 'em to carry a man's name up stairs, they are so awful lazy, and so shockin' full of porter.
I've told our minister not to introduce me as an Attache no more, but as Mr. Nobody, from the State of Nothin', in America, that's natur agin. "But to get back to the dinner. Arter you are in marchin' order, you move in through two rows of sarvants in uniform.
Lord, how white he looked about the gills arterwards; I thought I should a split when I looked at him. Guess he'll know an Attache when he sees him next time. "Well, there is dinner. One sarvice of plate is like another sarvice of plate, any one dozen of sarvants are like another dozen of sarvants, hock is hock, and champaigne is champaigne and one dinner is like another dinner.
"Oh no, yere hanner; we wish to go there in order to get rid of old ways and habits, amongst which are fortune-telling and buying things of sarvants, which yere hanner was jist now checking me wid." "And can't you get rid of them here?" "We cannot, yere hanner. If we stay here we must go on tramping, and it is well known that doing them things is part of tramping."
"Now, Mandy, yer know ther scripter reads thet Canyon was the son er Ham an wus cussed bekase his daddy laffed at ole Noey, bekase when he layed down ter sleep he didn't pull the kivver on his self proper like. When de ole man woke up the tother boys tole him what Ham hed done, he cussed Canyon Ham's son, and sed sarvant of sarvants shill he be.
Lord, how white he looked about the gills arterwards; I thought I should a split when I looked at him. Guess he'll know an Attache when he sees him next time. "Well, there is dinner. One sarvice of plate is like another sarvice of plate, any one dozen of sarvants are like another dozen of sarvants, hock is hock, and champaigne is champaigne and one dinner is like another dinner.
'Sure they had all their windies shut up, says he, 'and the doors too, an' ne'er a sign of a fly at all in it when I did get in, he says; 'an' the whole place that clane, an' sarvants running about, till I couldn't so much as find a corner to spin my web, says he. 'Och, dear, says the Gout, 'that's a poor case entirely; what sort of a place was it at all, an' what were they doin' in it?
Poker, that's a good soul, now do, Squire, look at the sarvants. Do you hear that feller, a blowin' and a wheesin' like a hoss that's got the heaves? Well he is so fat and lazy, and murders beef and beer so, he has got the assmy, and walkin' puts him out o' breath aint it beautiful! Faithful old sarvant that, so attached to the family! which means the family prog.
Sarvants spile your habits here, and books spite your mind. I wouldn't swap ideas with any man. I make my own opinions, as I used to do my own clocks; and I find they are truer than other men's. The Turks are so cussed heavy, they have people to dance for 'em; the English are wus, for they hire people to think for 'em. Never read a book, Squire, always think for yourself.
So he stood for a long time, breathing heavily, his black eyes glowing like the rubies and glinting like the diamonds. "A fortune," he murmured. "Aye, houses an' ships, liquor, food an' sarvants. Holy saint! I bes richer nor any marchant in St. John's!" At last he closed the box, put it back in the cavity overhead, and returned the small square of wood to its place. He looked around the room.
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