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Updated: June 29, 2025
"Well, by the livin', Dinny, I dunna where you get all this deep readin'." "Sure he gets it all in the Dixonary." "Bedad, that Dixonary must be a fine book entirely, to thim that undherstand it." "But, Dinny, will you tell Phadrick the Case of Conscience atween Barny Branagan's two goats an' Parra Ghastha's mare?"
"Father, I'm surprised at your gross imperception. Why, man, if you were not a rara avis of somnolency, a man of most frolicsome determinations, you'd be able to see that I've proved Phadrick to be an ass already." "Throth, I deny that you did; there wasn't a word about my bein' an ass, in the last discoorse. It was all upon the differ atween black an' white." "Oh, how I scorn your gravity, man!
On the other hand, Barny Branagan tells me that Parra Ghastha wishes to be paid for his mare. I say again, it's a disputed point, an' that the price o' the mare must go to the church the amount of the proceeds to be applied in prayer towards the benefit of the parties, in the first instance, an' of the faithful in general afterwards." "Phadrick!!!" "Oh, that I may never, but he bates the globe!"
"Throth, I don't care if I have a glass wid an ould friend. But, I hope your whiskey won't overtake me, Phadrick?" "The never a fear of it, your father's son has too good a head for that. Ough! man alive, if you could stay for the weddin'! Divil a sich a let out ever was seen in the county widin the mimory of the ouldest man in it, as it'll be.
Phadrick, lie down till I illusthrate." "How is that, Dinny? I can hear you sittin'." "Lie down, you reptile, or I shall decline the narration altogether." "Arra, lie down, Phadrick; sure he only wants to show you the rason o' the thing." "Well, well; I'm down. Now Dinny, don't let your feet be too larned, if you plase." "Silence! taceto! you reptile.
"In throth it is; go an avick. Phadrick!" "I'm listenin'." "Phadrick, do you know the differ atween black an' white'?" "Atween black an' white? Hut, gorsoon, to be sure I do." "Well, an' what might it be, Phadrick, my larned Athiop? What might it be, I negotiate?"
Nature, Phadrick, was in great state; the earth was undher our feet, an' the sky above us. The frost, too, was hard, Phadrick, the air keen, an' the grass tendher. All things were enrobed wid verisimilitude an' scrupulosity.
"Why, now that I look at you aren't you Dan Murray's nephew?" "Phadrick Murray, an' divil a one else, sure enough." "How is your family, Phadrick? Why, man, you don't know your friends my name's Cahill." "Is it Andy Cahill of Phuldhu? Why, thin, death alive, Andy, how is every bit of you?
Now, Phadrick, here, on this side o' you, lies Barny Branagan's field; an' there, on that side, lies a field of Parra Ghastha's; you're the ditch o' mud betuxt them." "The ditch o' mud! Faix that's dacent!" "Now here, on Barny Branagan's side, feeds Parra Ghastha's mare; an' there, on Parra Ghastha's side, feed Barny Branagan's goats. Do you comprehend? Do you insinuate?" "I do I do.
In the beginning, his high opinion and awe of the clerical character kept him remarkably dull and sheepish. Many an excellent joke was cracked at his expense; and often did he ask himself what Phadrick Murray, his father's family, or his acquaintances in general, would say, if they saw his learning and his logic so villanously degraded.
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