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Updated: May 5, 2025
What coom to t' three hundred and fifty rupees? Thot's what I can scarcelins tell yo', but we melted it we melted it. It was share an' share alike, for Mulvaney said: 'If Learoyd got hold of Mrs. DeSussa first, sure 'twas I that renumbered the Sargint's dog just in the nick av time, an' Orth'ris was the artist av janius that made a work av art out av that ugly piece av ill-nature.
"I'm a civilian now," said Mulvaney. "Cud you tell that I was iver a martial man? Don't answer, sorr, av you're strainin' betune a complimint an' a lie. There's no houldin' Dinah Shadd now she's got a house av her own. Go inside, an' dhrink tay out av chiny in the drrrrawin'-room, an' thin we'll dhrink like Christians undher the tree here. Scutt, ye naygur-folk!
'Tis harrd to be something ye niver were an' niver meant to be, an' all the ould days shut up along wid your papers. Eyah! I'm growin' rusty, an' 'tis the will av God that a man mustn't serve his Quane for time an' all. He helped himself to a fresh peg, and sighed furiously. 'Let your beard grow, Mulvaney, said I, 'and then you won't be troubled with those notions. You'll be a real civilian.
"Mulvaney," said Ortheris sternly, "'tain't no time for laughin'. You've given Jock an' me more trouble than you're worth. You 'ave been absent without leave an' you'll go into cells for that; an' you 'ave come back disgustin'ly dressed an' most improper in the linin' o' that bloomin' palanquin, Instid of which you laugh. An' we thought you was dead all the time."
"His excellency," said Mulvaney, with a look slightly malevolent, for the visitor had refused his name. Then he turned and left the room. At Mulvaney's words, an ironical smile crossed the face of the newcomer. Then he advanced to Miles Calhoun.
'Ah! broke in Mulvaney, 'ye'd no chanst against the maraudin' psalm- singer. They'll take the airs an' the graces instid av the man nine times out av ten, an' they only find the blunder later the wimmen. 'That's just where yo're wrong, said Learoyd, reddening under the freckled tan of his cheeks. 'I was th' first wi' 'Liza, an' yo'd think that were enough.
'Don't yo' believe him, mum, says I; 't' Colonel's Laady wouldn't tek five hundred for him. 'Who said she would? says Mulvaney; 'it's not buyin' him I mane, but for the sake o' this kind, good laady, I'll do what I never dreamt to do in my life. I'll stale him! 'Don't say steal, says Mrs. DeSussa; 'he shall have the happiest home.
The worst of it is that I shall have to give him twenty-eight days' confinement at least for being absent without leave, just when I most want him to lick the new batch of recruits into shape. I never knew a man who could put a polish on young soldiers as quickly as Mulvaney can. How does he do it?" "With blarney and the buckle-end of a belt, sir," said the adjutant.
All that I am certain of is that, at supper-time, I found Mulvaney with Private Ortheris, two-thirds of a ham, a loaf of bread, half a pate-de-foie-gras, and two magnums of champagne, sitting on the roof of my carriage. As I came up I heard him saying
Mulvaney, Bill's horse, took it lightly; and the man turned to watch the girl. Her horse stepped gingerly, making it without trouble. Then the guide saw fit to give her a little good advice. "Kick Buster in the ribs just before you come to a log," he said. "He'll jump 'em then. It's a whole lot safer if he tries to step over 'em he's apt to get his foot caught and give you a bad fall."
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