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Updated: May 7, 2025
Why, there's that ould cock, my fadher, an' if you'd see how he butthers up the ould woman to this day, it 'ud make your heart warm to any man o' the family." "Ould an' young was ever an' always the same to you, Phelim. Sure the ouldest woman in the parish, if she happened to be single, couldn't miss of your blarney. It's reported you're goin' to be marrid to an ould woman. "He -hem ahem!
Afther awhile his daughter, the jook's financee, come along; an', seein' the jook, says she, 'Pappa, she says, 'inthrojooce me to ye'er frind. 'Jook, says Ganderbilk, 'shake hands with me daughther. She's your's, he says. An' so they were marrid. "Well, Jawn," said Mr.
Hell soon be sleepin' beside her, beyant there, where she's lyin'. It was never known of Peter Connell that he offinded man, woman, or child since he was born, barrin' the gaugers, bad luck to thim, afore he was marrid but that was no offince. Sowl, he was their match, any how. When he an' the wife's gone, they won't lave their likes behind them.
A marrid man's a person with a limited affection a protictionist an' anti-expansionist, a mugwump, be hivins. 'Tis th' bachelor that's keepin' alive th' rivrince f'r th' sect. "Whin I was a young man, ye cud search fr'm wan end iv th' town to th' other f'r me akel with th' ladies. Ye niver see me in them days, but 'twas me had a rogue's eye an' a leg far beyant th' common r-run iv props.
"Ye take th' case iv me frind fr'm Mud Center that I was readin' about th' other day. There was a martyr f'r ye. Poor fellow! Me eyes filled with tears thinkin' about him. Whin a young man he marrid. He was a fireman in thim days, an' th' objict iv his etarnal affection was th' daughter iv th' most popylar saloon keeper in town. A gr-reat socyal gulf opened between thim.
'Thin they'se calciminin' an' paper-hangin', well, call it tin millyons. 'But what do I get out iv it? says Ganderbilk. 'Have ye a ticket to th' church to see me marrid? says th' jook. 'No, says his pappa-in-law. 'Well, here's a couple, says th' jook. 'Bring wan iv ye'er frinds with ye. So Ganderbilk he coughed.
"The sorra one else than Honor Donovan, that's now marrid upon Fardorougha Donovan to the tune of thirteen years. Bedad, time for her, anyhow, but, sure it'll be good whin it comes, we're thinkin'." "Well, betther late than never the Lord be praised for all His gifts, anyhow. Put your horse down to the mountin'-stone, and I'll be wid you in half a jiffy, acushla."
'Ye're goin' to have thim believe that, if they behave thimsilves an' lead a virchous life, they'll marry rich an' go to Congress. They'll wake up some day, an' find out that gettin' money an behavin' ye'ersilf don't always go together, I says. 'Some iv th' wickedest men in th' wurruld have marrid rich, I says.
Thin they'se a play about an English gintleman iv th' old school who thries to make a girl write a letter f'r him an' if she don't he'll tell on her. He doesn't tell an' so he's rewarded with th' love iv th' heroine, an honest English girl out f'r th' money." "Nobody's marrid in th' modhern play, Hinnissy, an' that's a good thing, too, f'r annywan that got marrid wud have th' worst iv it.
I hope she'll marry well. By an' by whin th' roses fade fr'm our cheeks an' our eye is dimmed with age we bow to th' inivitable, run down th' flag iv defiance, an' ar-re yanked into th' multichood iv happy an' speechless marrid men that look like flashlight pitchers. Th' best-lookin' iv us niver get marrid at all. "Yes, Sir, there's no doubt we do a good deal to beautify th' landscape.
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