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Updated: June 7, 2025
You know I couldn't have luck or grace if I marrid you wid the sin of two broken promises on me." "My goodness, Phelim, but you tuck a, burdyeen off o' me! Faix, you'll see how happy we'll be." "To be sure we will! But I'm tould you're sometimes crass, Mrs. Doran. Now, you must promise to be kind an' lovin' to the childre, or be the vestment, I'll break off the match yet."
'But I'm goin' to be marrid an' lave th' school on Choosdah, th' twinty-sicond iv Janooary, she says, 'an' on Mondah, th' twinty-first, I'm goin' to ask a few iv th' little darlin's to th' house an', she says, 'stew thim over a slow fire, she says. Mary Ellen is not a German, Hinnissy."
Th' truth is that a man is not onhappy because his socks ar-re not darned but because they ar-re. An' as f'r buttons on his shirt, whin th' buttons comes off a bachelor's shirt he fires it out iv th' window. His rule about clothes is thurly scientific. Th' survival iv th' fit, d'ye mind. Th' others to th' discard. No marrid man dares to wear th' plumage iv a bachelor.
"Then thou ist what the cold world calls marrid?" "Madam, I istest!" The exsentric female then clutched me franticly by the arm and hollered: "You air mine, O you air mine!" "Scacely," I sed, endeverin to git loose from her. But she clung to me and sed: "You air my Affinerty!" "What upon arth is that?" I shouted. "Dost thou not know?" "No, I dostent!"
If he hasn't these things he won't succeed in pollytics or packin' pork. Ye niver see a big man in pollytics that dhrank hard, did ye? Ye never will. An' that's because they're all marrid. Th' timptation's sthrong, but fear is sthronger." "Th' most domestic men in th' wurruld ar-re politicians, an' they always marry early. An' that's th' sad part iv it, Hinnissy.
Th' Presidint is as welcome as anny rayspictable marrid man.
He had fine prospects iv ivinchooly bein' promoted to two-fifty a day, but she was heiress to a cellar full iv Monongahela rye an' a pool table, an' her parents objicted, because iv th' diffrence in their positions. But love such as his is not to be denied. Th' bold suitor won. Together they eloped an' were marrid. "F'r a short time all wint well.
He knows he's fit for it. He's sthronger thin th' young lawyer they have now. People'll listen to him in Wash'nton as they do in Chicago. He says: 'I'll take it. An' thin he thinks iv th' wife an' they's no Wash'nton f'r him. His pollytical career is over. He wud niver have been constable if he hadn't marrid, but he might have been sinitor if he was a widower." "Mrs.
"I don't know much about marrid life, except what ye tell me an' what I r-read in th' pa-apers. But it must be sad. All over this land onhappily mated couples ar-re sufferin' almost as much as if they had a sliver in their thumb or a slight headache. Th' sorrows iv these people ar-re beyond belief. I say, Hinnissy, it is th' jooty iv th' law to marcifully release thim.
O'Leary was in to see th' Dargans th' other day. 'Ye mus' be very happy in ye'er gran' house, with Mr. O'Leary doin' so well, says Mrs. Dargan. An' th' on'y answer th' foolish woman give was to break down an' weep on Mrs. Dargan's neck." "Yet ye say a pollytician oughtn't to get marrid," said Mr. Hennessy. "Up to a certain point," said Mr. Dooley, "he must be marrid.
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