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Updated: June 26, 2025
As we went in we see old Miss Burpy from 'way back of Loontown. She wuz never on the cars before, or see 'em, but she wuz sent for by her oldest boy who lives in the city. She was settin' in a big rocken'-chair rocken voyolently, and as I went past her she says: "Have we got to New York yet?" "Why," sez I, "we haint started." She sez, "I thought I wuz in the convenience now a-travellin'."
Everybody in the hull livin' world is here; the earth has dreaned off all its livin' inhabitants down into this place; some of the time I thought mebby one or two would be left in Jonesville, and Loontown, and the hind side of Asia, and Hindoostan; but as I wended on and see the immense crowd, a-passin' out of one buildin' and a-passin' in to another, and a-swarmin' over the road and a-coverin' the face of the water, I sez to myself
And I had had kind of a tussle in my own mind, whether or not I should offer to let Josiah carry her out; but kinder hesitated, thinkin' mebby she would get stronger. But I hain't jealous, not a mite. It is known that I hain't all through Jonesville and Loontown. No, I'd scorn it. I thought Pool's wife would get better and she did.
But I waded out agin "De La Cerda Y Gante "As a pardner of Columbus, and also as a female woman, I bid you also welcome to America in the name of woman, and I tender to you also the freedom of Jonesville, and Loontown, and Zoar. "And you," sez I, "Honorable Maria Del Pillow Colon Y Aguilera
Thomas J. told us considerable about the Help Union and the good that Ernest White and his helpers wuz accomplishing in Loontown and Jonesville. And Tirzah Ann wanted to know if reveres had gone out and hoops comin' in; she had hearn so and felt anxious. There had been a rumor in Jonesville to that effect, but she couldn't place full dependence on it.
For though I am fur from bein' the one that ort to mention it, I have heard of such things bein' said about me all round Jonesville, and as far as Loontown and Shackville. And so, I spoze, she wanted to get hold of my opinion. Wall, I wuz introduced to her, and I shook hands with her, and kissed her on both cheeks, for she is a sweet girl and I liked her looks.
It come entirely onexpected to me, and contained the startlin' intelligence that my own cousin, on my mother's own side, had come home to Loontown to his sister's, and wuz very sick with nervous prostration, neuralgia, rheumatism, etc., and expected paralasys every minute, and heart failure, and such. And his sister, Miss Timson, who wrote the letter, beset me to come over and see him.
When I first heard that wimmen wuz goin' to make a effort to set on a Conference, it wuz on a Wednesday, as I remember well. For my companion, Josiah Allen, had drove over to Loontown in a Democrat and in a great hurry, to meet two men who wanted him to go into a speculation with 'em. And it wuz kinder curious to meditate on it, that they wuz all deacons, every one on 'em.
How I could rake off the crows with it in plantin' time! Why," sez he, "by shootin' it off once or twice I could clear the hull country of 'em from Jonesville to Loontown." "Yes," sez I; "and have you got a thousand dollars to pay for every batch of crows you kill, besides damages heavy damages for killin' human bein's, and horses, and cows, and sech?"
They wuz goin' right to housekeeping in the widder Pooler's, where he had boarded. The widder had gone to live with her daughter, Mahala, in Michigan, and Ernest White has bought it. It stands in a pretty place near a evergreen grove, just on the edge of Loontown near his people that he loves, and has gin his life work to make better.
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