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Updated: June 10, 2025
"If they ain't," Hymie replied as he made for the door, "I'll eat 'em, Abe, and I ain't got too good a di-gestion, neither." At intervals of fifteen minutes during the remainder of the afternoon Morris visited the safe and inspected the diamonds until Abe was moved to criticise his partner's behavior. "Them diamonds ain't going to run away, Mawruss."
"In Paris you could get plenty good cigars," Hymie Salzman said, and Hymie was right for, at the Gare St. Lazare, M. Adolphe Kaufmann-Levi, commissionnaire, awaited them, his pockets literally spilling red-banded perfectos at every gesture of his lively fingers. M. Kaufmann-Levi spoke English, French, and German with every muscle of his body from the waist up. "Welcome to France, Mr.
All I want it is my share of the thousand dollars." He turned on his heel and banged the show-room door behind him, while Abe pulled up the shades and Hymie turned off the lights. "That's a fine crank for you, Abe," Hymie exclaimed. Abe said nothing, but sat down and wrote out a check for a thousand dollars. "I hope them diamonds is worth it," he murmured, handing the check to Hymie.
Every afternoon he is playing with such sharks like Moe Rabiner and Marks Pasinsky, and if he ever got out of a job as designer he could go on the stage at one of them continual performances as a card juggler yet. A three-fifty hand is the least that feller deals himself." "One thing is sure, Abe, you couldn't never sell me no goods by knocking Hymie Salzman."
He entered and seized a telegraph form, which he addressed to Potash & Perlmutter. "Don't ship no more goods to Lowenstein, Morris. Will explain by letter to-night," he wrote. "Now, Hymie," he said after he had paid for the dispatch, "we go by your lawyer."
Then he pockets the check, Hymie, and ten days later busts up on the poor sucker what sold him the goods in New York at ninety days. Ain't that right, Hymie?" "Why, that's the funniest thing you ever seen!" Hyman exclaimed. "What's the funniest thing I ever seen, Hymie?" "You talking about Galveston, for instance." Abe turned pale and choked on a piece of rosbraten. "What d'ye mean?" he gasped.
"Well, a four-carat stone wouldn't affect me none, Abe," Morris said, "and believe me, Abe, Hymie Kotzen's diamonds don't worry me none, neither. All I'm troubling about now is that I got an appetite like a horse, so I guess I'll go to lunch." Abe jumped to his feet. "Give me a chance oncet in a while, Mawruss," he protested. "Every day comes half-past twelve you got to go to your lunch.
I got it bills receivable due the first of the month, five thousand dollars from such people like Heller, Blumenkrohn & Co., of Cincinnati, and The Emporium, Duluth, all gilt-edge accounts, Abe, and why should I lose it twenty per cent. on them, ain't it?" "Sure," Abe murmured. "Well, that's what I told Feder," Hymie went on. "If I got to take up a couple of thousand dollars I'll do it.
"Well, it's got to be convenient; so, Abe, you get a move on you and go down to them safety-deposit vaults and fetch them." "Let Mawruss fetch 'em," Abe replied wearily. "The safety deposit is his idee, Hymie, not mine." Hymie turned to Morris. "Go ahead, Mawruss," he said, "you fetch 'em." "I was only stringing you, Hymie," Morris croaked. "We ain't got 'em in no safety-deposit vault at all."
"But wouldn't to-morrow do as well?" Morris asked. Hymie sat back and eyed Morris suspiciously. "What are you trying to do, Mawruss?" he asked. "Make jokes with me?" "I ain't making no jokes, Hymie," Morris replied. "The fact is, Hymie, we got it the diamonds, now in our now safety-deposit box, and it ain't convenient to get at it now." "Oh, it ain't, ain't it?" Hymie cried.
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