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Updated: June 23, 2025
Not even the news of Flodden brought direr dismay to Hechnahoul than Mr. Maddison's brief note. Lord Tulliwuddle an impostor? That magnificent young man a fraud? So much geniality, brawn, and taste for the bagpipes merely the sheep's clothing that hid a wandering wolf? Incredible! Yet, on second thoughts, how very much more thrilling than if he had really been an ordinary peer!
They've got a salmon river in Scotland, and they are there now. It's not far from my place, Hechnahoul." "She's practically in your arms, then?" "Ach. Ze affair is easy!" "Pipe up the clan and abduct her!" "Approach her mit a kilt!" But even those optimistic exhortations left the peer still melancholy.
Gallosh and myself great pleasure, and we will esteem it a distinguished honor, if you and your friend will be our guests at Hechnahoul Castle during the duration of your visit. Should you do us the honor of accepting, I shall send my steam launch to meet you at Torrydhulish pier and convey you across the loch, if you will be kind enough to advise me which train you are coming by.
After keeping himself out of the way of all his friends and most of his acquaintances ever since the departure of his substitute, hearing nothing of what was happening at Hechnahoul, and living in daily dread of the ignominious exposure of their plot, he had stumbled by accident against his aunt, explained his prolonged absence from her house with the utmost difficulty, and found himself forced to appease her wounded feelings by appearing where he least wished to be seen in a crowded London reception-room.
The Baron appeared mystified by the juxtaposition of ideas, but serenely expressed himself as ready to entrust this and all other arrangements for the Hechnahoul Gathering to the ingenious Count, as some small compensation for so conspicuously outshining him. The day of the Gathering broke gray and still, and the Baron, who was no weather prophet, declared gloomily "It vill rain. Donnerwetter!"
With considerable satisfaction he ran over the outfit he had brought, deeming it even on second thoughts a singularly happy selection: the dining coat with pale-blue lapels, the white tie of a new material and cut borrowed from the Baron's finery, the socks so ravishingly embroidered that he had more than once caught the ladies at Hechnahoul casting affectionate glances upon them.
"Never lie for lying's sake, Blitzenberg. Besides, how do you propose to forge a Chinese post-mark?" The Baron had laid the foundations of his Russian trip on a sound basis by requesting a friend of his in that country to post to the Baroness the bi-weekly budgets of Muscovite gossip which he intended to compose at Hechnahoul.
"I told you he was smoking a cigar at Hechnahoul!" cried Miss Minchell with an air of triumph. "I thought you were mistaken," said Julia, and the Count could see that he had slipped a little from his pedestal. This must not be permitted; yet he must smoke. "Of course I don't smoke REAL tobacco!" he exclaimed. "Oh, in that case," cried Julia, "certainly then you may smoke in the drawing-room.
"Who is zis Gallosh?" he inquired. "Scottish, I judge from his name; commercial, from his literary style; elevated by his own exertions, from the size of his crest; and wealthy, from the fact that he rents Hechnahoul Castle. His mention of Mrs. Gallosh points to the fact that he is either married or would have us think so; and I should be inclined to conclude that he has probably begot a family."
I guess we mean to do a little of both to-day, if you are perfectly disposed. What do you say, Count?" "I consider that an occasion selected by you, Mr. Maddison, is not to be neglected." The millionaire bowed his acknowledgment of the compliment, and turned to the Baron, who, it may be remarked, was wearing an expression of thoughtful gravity not frequently to be noted at Hechnahoul.
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