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Updated: May 23, 2025
It is the greatest mystery of my life, and the reason they mistrust me. She rocked herself a little, beyond the point of tears. The man-child waited. 'What is wrong? She found she could not answer with words, though the thoughts had come easily enough: too easy, like vague fears taking shape and becoming familiar from the smokes of a half-remembered past.
It has been the favorite pastime of historians to weave their own anachronistic theories upon the scanty woof of the half-remembered thoughts of the ancient philosophers. To make such cloth of the imagination as this is an alluring pastime, but one that must not divert us here. Our point of view reverses that of the philosophers.
No one knew, or cared, that intellectual awakening was phenomenally quick, the first tentative questionings occurring in only the fourth week of life. He recalled how the stirring of objective awareness brought with it a half-remembered pang of death, and how the stirring of innocent wonder brought memories.
It may have been merely a crescendo of nervous fancy that had gone before, but those black discs were dreadful to Syme; they reminded him of half-remembered ugly tales, of some story about pennies being put on the eyes of the dead. Syme's eye always caught the black glasses and the blind grin. Had the dying Professor worn them, or even the pale Secretary, they would have been appropriate.
To the flight of time he grew quite oblivious, his thoughts wandering in the past, oddly afar to half-remembered scenes, to experiences more than half-forgotten, both wholly irrelevant; picturesque and painful memories cast up from the deeps of the subconsciousness by some inexplicable convulsion of the imagination.
He steered subconsciously through a world of dim, huge, half-remembered wonders. The sun, with that abrupt Egyptian suddenness, was below the horizon now. The pyramid field had swallowed it. Ra, in his golden boat, sailed distant seas beyond the Libyan wilderness. Henriot walked on and on, aware of utter loneliness.
And like a half-remembered tune there came floating into his mind words he had lit on somewhere, or learnt on the school-bench Horace, he thought, but, whatever their source, words that fitted his case to a nicety. COELUM, NON ANIMUM, MUTANT, QUI TRANS MARE CURRUNT. "Non animum"? Ah! could he but have foreseen this foreknown it.
When he left the room, Lady Emily went instinctively to the window to watch him depart; and all that night his low soft voice rung in her ear, like the music of an indistinct and half-remembered dream. DEAR, EMILY, Business of great importance to the country has, prevented my writing to you before.
She moved among us like to one Who had not lived on earth alone; But felt a dim, mysterious sense Of a more stately residence, And seemed to have a consciousness Of an anterior happiness To hear, at times, the echoes sent From some unearthly instrument With half-remembered voices blent And yet to hold the friendships dear, And prize the blessings of our sphere In sweet perplexity to know Which of the two was dreamy show, The dark green earth, the deep blue skies, The love which shone in mortal eyes, Or those faint recollections, telling Of a more bright and tranquil dwelling.
Late into the morning of the New Year, Faith slept. Through her half consciousness crept, at last, a feeling of music that had been wandering in faint echoes among the chambers of her brain all those hours of her suspended life. Light, and music, and a sense of an unexamined, half-remembered joy, filled her being and embraced her at her waking on this New Year's Day.
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