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Updated: June 17, 2025
Grummit, after a frenzied outburst, proceeded on his way, returning the smiles of such acquaintances as he passed with an icy stare or a strongly-worded offer to make them laugh the other side of their face. The rest of the day he spent in working so hard that he had no time to reply to the anxious inquiries of his fellow-workmen.
Her brother passed from incredulity to amazement and from amazement to mirth. He sat down gurgling, and the indignant face of the injured Grummit only added to his distress. "Best joke I ever heard in my life," he said, wiping his eyes. "Don't look at me like that, Bob; I can't bear it." "Get off 'ome," responded Mr. Grummit, glowering at him.
He gave a little laugh at the sarcasm, and sticking his short pipe in his mouth lurched slowly to the front-room door and scowled at his wife as she lurked at the back of the window watching intently the furniture which was being carried in next door. "Come away or else you'll be locked up," repeated Mr. Grummit. "You mustn't look at policemen's furniture; it's agin the law." Mrs.
Grummit fell back awed, despite himself. "It was a fair fight," he stammered. The constable waved him away. "Get out o' my sight before I change my mind," he said, fiercely; "and mind, if you say a word about this it'll be the worse for you." "Do you think I've gone mad?" said the other. He took another look at his victim and, turning away, danced fantastically along the road home.
Grummit, trembling with eagerness, "and I wouldn't say a word to a soul. I'll take my solemn davit I wouldn't." "When I think o' my garden " began the constable. With a sudden movement he knocked off Mr. Grummit's cap, and then, seizing him by the coat, began to hustle him along the road. In the twinkling of an eye they had closed. Tunwich church chimed the half-hour as they finished, and Mr.
Grummit, suddenly remembering himself, stopped short and attacked the bed with extraordinary fury. The room resounded with the blows, and the efforts of Mrs. Grummit were a revelation even to her husband. "I can hear 'im moving," whispered Mr. Grummit, pausing to take breath. "Mur der!" wailed his wife. "Help! Help!" Mr. Grummit, changing the stick into his left hand, renewed the attack; Mrs.
Grummit, emphasizing his remarks with his forefinger. "I come up and beat the bed black and blue with the copper-stick; you scream for mercy and call out 'Help! 'Murder! and things like that. Don't call out 'Police! cos Bill ain't sure about that part. Evans comes bursting in to save your life I'll leave the door on the latch and there you are. He's sure to get into trouble for it.
Grummit turned from the window, and in a slow and stately fashion prepared to retire for the night. Even the sudden and startling disappearance of Mrs. Grummit as she got into bed failed to move him. "The bed's broke, Bob," she said faintly. "Beds won't last for ever," he said, shortly; "sleep on the floor." Mrs.
Finding that my father was disengaged, I followed him into the study, and again broached the subject of going to sea. "Couldn't you take me to Squire Knowsley, and talk the matter over with him," I said. "You can tell him that 50 pounds a year is a large sum for you to allow me, and perhaps he may induce Captain Grummit to take me, although I may not have the usual allowance.
"You know all about it," said the constable, choking. "I shall take out a summons against you for it." "Ho!" said Mr. Grummit. "And wot time do you say it was when I done it?" "Never you mind the time," said the other. "Cos it's important," said Mr. Grummit. "My wife's brother the one you're so fond of slept in my 'ouse last night.
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