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Updated: May 11, 2025
It was singular enough, and I should not like to acknowledge it, were not these Confessions in their very nature intended to disclose the very penetralia of my heart; but singular it certainly was and so I have always felt it since, when reflecting on it that although much and warmly attached to Lady Jane Callonby, and feeling most acutely what I must call her abandonment of me, yet, the most constantly recurring idea of my mind on the subject was, what will the mess say what will they think at head-quarters? the raillery, the jesting, the half-concealed allusion, the tone of assumed compassion, which all awaited me, as each of my comrades took up his line of behaving towards me, was, after all, the most difficult thing to be borne, and I absolutely dreaded to join my regiment, more thoroughly than did ever schoolboy to return to his labour on the expiration of his holidays.
When, therefore, the invitation to Callonby arrived, a grave council of war was summoned, to deliberate upon the mode of transit, for the honour could not be declined, "coute qui coute."
Napoleon was the only difficult one in the number." Most fortunately this unfair disclosure did not reach her ladyship's ears, as she was busily engaged putting on her bonnet, and I was yet unassailed in reputation to her. "Good bye, then," said Lord Callonby; "we meet at seven;" and in a few moments the little party were scattered to their several destinations.
While shame and confusion covered me from head to foot at the absurd and ludicrous blunder I had been guilty of, the sense of the ridiculous was so strong in me, that I fell upon a sofa and laughed on with the others for full ten minutes. "Your Excellency is, I am rejoiced to find, in good spirits," said Lady Callonby, entering and presenting her hand.
There are moments in life in which conviction will follow a bold "coup de main," that never would have ensued from the slow process of reasoning. Luckily for me, this was one of those happy intervals. Lord Callonby catching my uncle's enthusiasm, seized me by the hand and said,
I was fortunately spared this awkwardness of an explanation, for his lordship, approaching me with his hand extended, said "Mr. Lorrequer is most welcome at Callonby. I cannot be mistaken, I am sure I have the pleasure of addressing the nephew of my old friend, Sir Guy Lorrequer of Elton.
"Oh, and Greenfield junior," said Callonby, as he was turning to depart, "Loman wants to know when you are going to get his tea; you're to go at once, he says."
Now he has been expecting the new English Charge d'Affaires here these last ten days, and has kept the hotel half empty in consequence; and as mi Lor Callonby has engaged the other half, why we have nothing to do; so that when he asked the postillion if you were mi Lor, and found that you were not, he determined not to admit you." "But why not have the civility to explain that?"
Miss Betty lived, as I have said, near Ennistimon, and the road from thence to Callonby at the time I speak of it was before Mr. Nimmo was a like the bed of a mountain torrent as a respectable highway; there were holes that would have made a grave for any maiden lady within fifty miles; and rocks thickly scattered, enough to prove fatal to the strongest wheels that ever issued from "Hutton's."
I looked for a few moments on the again silent street, and was almost tempted to believe I was in a dream, so rapidly had the preceding moments passed over; and so surprised was I to find that the proud Earl of Callonby, who never did the "civil thing" any where, should think proper to pay attention to a poor sub in a marching regiment, whose only claim on his acquaintance was the suspicion of poaching on his manor.
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