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Updated: June 17, 2025
'Twas that first drew me in The tempting Hope of Means to conquer you, Wou'd put me upon any dangerous Enterprize: Were I the Lord of all the Universe, I am so lost in Love, For one dear Night to clasp you in my Arms, I'd lavish all that World then die with Joy. L. Ful. Gay. Enter Sir Cautious, Bearjest, Noisey and Bredwel. Sir Cau.
Most assuredly, unless you have the courage to retrieve it. I'll set it at a Throw, or any way: what say you, Gentlemen? Sir Feeb. Ods bobs, you young Fellows are too hard for us every way, and I'm engag'd at an old Game with a new Gamester here, who will require all an old Man's stock. L. Ful. Come, Cousin, will you venture a Guinea? Come, Mr. Bredwel. Gay.
Ay, ay, this Grievance ought to be redrest, Sir Feeble; the grave and sober part o'th' Nation are hereby ridicul'd, Ay, and cuckolded too for ought I know. L. Ful. Wise Men knowing this, should not expose their Infirmities, by marrying us young Wenches; who, without Instruction, find how we are impos'd upon. Enter Fiddles playing, Mr. Bearjest and Diana dancing; Bredwel, Noisey, &c. L. Ful.
She cannot from the Paths of Honour rove, Whose Guide's Religion, and whose End is Love. SCENE III. Changes to a Wash-house, or Out-House. Enter with a Dark-lanthorn Bredwel disguis'd like a Devil, leading Gayman. Bred. Gay.
Now, Sir, we are two to two, for this way you must pass or be taken in the Lady's Lodgings I'll first adventure out to make you pass the safer, and that he may not, if possible, see Sir Cautious, whom I shall fright into a Trance, I am sure. Gay. A brave kind Fellow this. Enter Bredwel stalking on as a Ghost by them. Sir Cau. Bred. Come on, thou ghastly thing, and follow me.
They are unable to protest even when Sir Feeble finds that his daughter Diana has married Bredwel instead of Sir Cautious' nephew Bearjest for whom she was designed, whilst the choused fop is wedded to Pert, Lady Fulbank's woman, to whom he had been previously contracted.
I'll bear you out; be ready at my Call. Let me see I have got no ready stuff to banter with but no matter, any Gibberish will serve the Fools 'tis now about the hour of Ten but Twelve is my appointed lucky Minute, when all the Blessings that my Soul could wish, shall be resign'd to me. Enter Bredwel. Hah! who's there? Bredwel? Bred.
After a Knocking, enter Bredwel in his masking Habit, with his Vizard in the one Hand, and a Light in t'other, in haste. Bred. Enter Sir Feeble drest, and arm'd Cap-a-pee, with a broad Waste-Belt stuck round with Pistols, a Helmet, Scarf, Buff-coat and half Pike. Sir Feeb. How now, how now, what's the matter here? Bred. Matter, what, is my Lady's innocent Intrigue found out?
But I impatient to see this dear delight of my Soul, and hearing from none of you this six weeks, came from Brussels in this disguise for the Hague I have not seen, though hang'd there but come let's away, and compleat me a right St. Omer's Spark, that I may present my self as soon as they come from Church. SCENE II. Sir Cautious Fulbank's House. Enter Lady Fulbank, Pert and Bredwel.
Bredwel, to pass Gayman out undetected, ushers him through the room white-sheeted like a ghost, and the two old fools are well frightened, but eventually they conclude there has been some mistake or trick. Sir Feeble returns home to find Leticia with her jewels about to flee, but she succeeds in reassuring him.
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