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Updated: June 28, 2025
Really, now, you know, a fellow can't stand that sort of thing! A downright assault! I'm sorry I struck him, though devilish sorry! I'll pay the damage with pleasure. Mat. Tho. Aw'm o' reet. Let th' mon goo. What's he to tho or mo? Eigh! eigh! mo owd boans 'ud rayther not. It's noan blame sure to an owd mon to fo' tired o' feightin! Mat. Father! father! forgive me! I'm all yours.
"Aw'm a beamer," replied the old man, "a twister-in, when there's ought doin'. But it's nowt ov a trade neaw. Aw'll tell yo what ruins me; it's these lung warps. They maken 'em seven an' eight cuts in, neaw an' then. There's so mony 'fancies' an' things i' these days; it makes my job good to nought at o' for sich like chaps as me.
He says, "As for Thomas Doane, Esquire, aw've doone wi' 'im." And theer's another gentleman, Mr. Lancy Doane, Esquire. He turns pious, and says, "Aw'm goin' for a coast-guardsman." What does the King on his throne say? 'E says, "Theer's the man for me."" But aw says, "Aw've doone, aw've doone wi' Mr. Lancy Doane, Esquire, and be damned to 'im!" He! he! Theer's a fancy sitovation for ye. Mr.
G. But you've just said you didn't see her face! Th. Dunnot aw know what th' face ov mo chylt be like, beout seem' ov it? Aw'm noan ov a lump-yed. Nobory as seigh her once wouldn't know her again. Col. He's a lunatic! I don't see what I can do for you, old fellow. Th. And aw met ha' known it beout axin'! O'reet!
An' this news brought 'em o' out o' their nooks in a fluster. Owd Isaac wur sit i'th parlour, havin' a glass wi' a chap that he'd bin sellin' a cowt to. Th' little lass went bouncin' into th' reawm to him; an' hoo said, 'Eh, father, th' new weshin'-machine's come'd! 'Well, well, said Isaac, pattin' her o'th yed; 'go thi ways an' tell thi mother. Aw'm no wesher.
But iv a gentleman axes mo into his heawse, aw'm noan beawn to be afeard. Aw'll coom in, for mayhap yo can help mo. It be a coorous plaze. What dun yo mak here? Col. G. What would you think now? Th. It looks to mo like a mason's shed a greight one. Col. G. You're not so far wrong. Th. It do look a queer plaze. Aw be noan so sure abeawt it.
We'n bin force't to tak to relief at last; an' we'n getten five tickets. We could happen ha' manage't better, but aw'm sore wi' rheumatism, yo see'n. Aw've had a bit o' weighvin' i'th heawse mony a day, but aw've th' rheumatic so bad i' this hond it's hond that aw pick wi' that aw couldn't bide to touch a fither with it, bless yo.
I 'ave two two kids I 'ave; an' so 'elp me Gawd, things bein' as they are, I wouldn't say nothin' if one of 'em was Macnamara's wich it ain't no fear!" "Was Macnamara here you wouldn't say thaat to his faace, aw'm thinkin'." "I'd break 'is 'ulkin' neck first. I ain't puttin' these things on the 'oardins, an' I ain't thinkin' 'em, if 'ee's alive in the clutches of the 'eathen Kalifer at Homdurman.
An' aw'm glad yo're theer, sir; for William he towd mo to stay till he coom back; but aw've not geet so mich time to spare; and so be's yo're a friend ov th' maister's, yo'll mebbe mind th' shop a smo' bit. War. I say, old man your name's Thomas Pearson ain't it? Tho. Yigh. Aw yer. But hea cooms to to knaw mo name? War. I know all about you. Tho. Ivvery body knaws ivvery body yere!
Iv aw hed a houd o' mo lass, it's noan o' yere aw'd be a coomin' wi' her. It's reet streight whoam to her mother we'd be gooin', aw'll be beawn. Nay, nay, mon! aw'm noan sich a greight foo as yo tak mo for. Exit. COL. G. follows him. Enter. GER. Sits down before the Psyche, but without looking at her. Ger. Oh those fingers! They are striking terrible chords on my heart! I will conquer it.
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