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Updated: May 10, 2025
For a time they were happy, saying very little, Vera softly stroking Nina's hair. Then, as Vera afterwards described it to me, "Some fright or sudden dread of loneliness came into the room. It was exactly as though the door had opened and some one had joined us... and, do you know, I looked up and expected to see Uncle Alexei."
"It is of no importance, Alexei Petrovitch," I said. "I'm sure you have other better things to do. Are you remaining in Petrograd?" He looked at me then very seriously, his eyes staring straight into mine. "I hope so." "You will work at your practice?" "Perhaps." He nodded to me. "Strange to find you here...." he said. "We shall meet again. Good-night." He closed the door behind me.
"The next morning, when I was tidying her boudoir, she made an unexpected entry, and, clad in a loose, red dressing-gown, and holding a cigarette between her lips, said to me with a kindly smile as she produced my precious paper of verses: "'Alexei, did YOU write these? "'Yes, was my reply. 'And for Christ's sake pardon me for the same.
I fancied that I detected behind his placidity an almost relieved self-satisfaction, as though things were going very much better than he had expected. "So Alexei Petrovitch thinks well of it, does he?" I asked. "Most enthusiastic," answered Markovitch eagerly.
I stay here, I send him away because I cannot bear to see Nicholas suffer. And I do not care for Nicholas. Do you understand that? I never loved him, and now I have a contempt for him in spite of myself. Uncle Alexei has done that. Oh yes! He has made a fool of Nicholas for months, and although I have hated him for doing that, I have seen, also, what a fool Nicholas is! But he is a hero, too.
That night, for the first time in ninety-six weary hours, he slept, soundly and dreamlessly, till Alexei came to call him, when he rose with a feeling of great strangeness, of irrevocable change, upon him, as he faced a final joyless day. There was no help for it. He must return, that afternoon, to the Corps; where now there would be no weekly breaks in his monotony of unhappiness.
On the following day, the captain, according to appointment, paid another visit on shore, accompanied by two officers, Alexei, and four seamen carrying the presents intended for the Japanese. On this occasion, the former precautions were dispensed with; the boat was hauled up to the shore, and left with one seaman, while the rest of the party proceeded to the castle.
"Nina!... She's gone!" "Gone!" I repeated, starting at once. "Yes.... Read!" She thrust it into my hand. In Nina's sprawling schoolgirl hand I read: Dear Vera I've left you and Nicholas for ever.... I have been thinking of this for a long time, and now Uncle Alexei has shown me how foolish I've been, wanting something I can't have. But I'm not a child any longer.
I had fine ideals but in practice it was only that that I always was selfish. Now, for the first time ever, I care for some one more than myself and suddenly I am afraid of death no longer. It is true, Ivan Andreievitch, I do not believe that death can separate Alexei from me; I have more reason now to wish to live than I have ever had, but now I am not afraid.
It seemed inconsistent that ranks and degrees should exist in peasant villages; but human nature is much the same in the country as in capitals, even in the village of the man who advocates absolute equality of poverty, and despite the views of my merry izvostchik Alexei.
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