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Updated: June 13, 2025
To begin with he's a Dutchman. If that ain't enough he's a cantin', hymn singin' murdhrous wretch that wuddent lave wan iv our counthrymen ate a square meal if he had his way. I'll give ye all two dollars a week if ye'll go over an' desthroy him. An' th' other la-ad, what does he do? He calls in th' neighbors an' says he: 'Dooley is sindin' down a gang iv savages to murdher me.
Dorgan goes up an' shakes his fist at him, an' th' la-ad gives him a jab with his bayonet that makes th' poor ol' man roar like a bull. 'In th' name iv th' people iv th' State iv Illinys, he says, 'disperse, he says, 'ye riter, he says; 'an', if ye don't go home, he says, 'ye ol' omadhon, he says, 'I'll have ye thrun into jail, he says. "Dorgan haven't got over it yet.
Christyan Bro-others! an' th' other says, 'Hit thim, saw thim, gnaw thim, chaw thim, Saint Aloysius! Well, afther awhile they got down to wurruk. 'Sivin, eighteen, two, four, says a la-ad. I've seen people go mad over figures durin' th' free silver campaign, but I niver see figures make a man want f'r to go out an' kill his fellow-men befure.
"Fer a sick la-ad ye're a wonder, ye are that," he smiled at Johnny, "but ye want to kape away from the water fronts. Good-bye to ye both, an' a pleasant journey home. The town is tin miles to me right, over beyant them hills." "Good-bye, Hogan," mumbled Hopalong gratefully.
'Tis betther thin th' Polis Gazette, an' near as thrue. Well, Jawn, this here young man come fr'm a gr-eat gin'ral, a fine-lookin' la-ad that had manny a mash in his day, an' niver lost money be wan iv thim. Ye'll find all about him in Casey's 'Histhry iv English Misrule in Ireland: Th' Story iv a Crime. 'Tis good readin'. "Th' la-ad's father marrid a rich woman. So did his uncle.
He had found his father waiting for him in the front hall after he came down-stairs from Mr. Gorham's library, but the only remark the old man vouchsafed was, "Have ye done phwat I told ye, Jimmie?" Then the door swung upon its hinges while the younger man went out, leaving his father chuckling softly. "Jimmie's th' fine la-ad, afther all," Riley muttered quietly to himself.
Make a nice chatty article about it an' I'll give ye a copy iv wan iv me books. 'I will, says th' la-ad, 'if he don't swing on me, he says. The editor thin addhressed th' staff.
"Well, says th' la-ad, 'they'se five thousan' in it f'r ye, he says. They had to pry Dochney off iv him. Th' nex' day a man he knowed well come to Dochney, an' says he, 'That's a fine ordhnance iv Schwartz. 'It is, like hell, says Dochney. ''Tis a plain swindle, he says.
"That young Hogan is a smart la-ad," said Mr. Dooley. "A smart la-ad an' a good wan, too." "None betther," said Mr. Hennessy. "None betther in th' ward," said Mr. Dooley, which was a high appreciation. "But there ar-re things about human nature an' histhry that ain't taught at Saint Ignateeus'. I tell thim to Hogan's la-ad.
But, because some la-ad on th' gin'ral staff got caught lyin' in th' start an' had to lie some more to make th' first wan stick, an' th' other gin'rals had to jine him f'r fear he might compromise thim if he wint on telling his fairy stories, an' they was la-ads r-runnin' newspapers in Paris that needed to make a little money out iv th' popylation, ye said, "Th' honor iv th' Fr-rinch people an' th' honor iv th' Fr-rinch ar-rmy is on thrile"; an' ye've put thim in th' dock instead iv th' Cap.
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