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RISPOLÓZHENSKY. "Good Lord!" he said, "I'm no extortioner, I'm no usurer it would be better," he said, "to lay hands on myself." AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. Merciful heavens! RISPOLÓZHENSKY. And lo! my dear madam, there came a dream to him in the night The same and BOLSHÓV BOLSHÓV. Ha, you here, sir? What's this you're preaching here? USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. Why, my jewel! You seem to be growing thin.

I promised to jump from the Tower of Ivan the Great, provided I married Olimpiáda Samsónovna; should I jump? USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. Do you think I won't have the law on you? Much I care that you're a merchant of the second guild; I'm in the fourteenth class myself, and even if that ain't much, I'm an official's wife all the same.

USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. I'll capture a little mamzelle for you if you want me to. PODKHALYÚZIN. Thank you kindly I don't need one yet. USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. If you don't want one yourself, my jewel, I'll do a good turn for your friends. I suppose you have friends around town, a whole pack. PODKHALYÚZIN. I have quite a few, ma'am. USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. Well, if you have, thank the Lord!

It's the same way with this business; if I make a hit with him, or the idea strikes him all right then it's sweet wedding-bells to-morrow, and that's all, and don't you dare argue! I could jump from the tower of Ivan the Great for the joy of it. Enter TISHKA with the bottle. PODKHALYÚZIN and TISHKA I've come. PODKHALYÚZIN. Listen, Tishka, is Ustinya Naúmovna here? TISHKA. Up-stairs there.

Now, I've been bustling about, bustling about for you, Agraféna Kondrátyevna; trudging, trudging over the pavement, and at last I've grubbed up a suitable man: you'll gasp for joy, my jewels, for a fact. AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. At last you're talking sense! USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. A man of birth and of standing; such a grandee as you never even dreamed of.

FOMÍNISHNA. What's the use of talking, my dear; what's the use of talking! USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. Sit down, Fomínishna; your legs are old and rickety. FOMÍNISHNA. Eh! Haven't time, my dear! You see, it's just awful; because he doesn't come home we're all scared to death: he may come home drunk at any time. And then what a bad one, good Lord! Then what a row he'll kick up.

USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. But, my dear, it's impossible! I'd be tickled to death, but I've given my word. PODKHALYÚZIN. Just as you please, ma'am! But if you betroth her to the other fellow, you'll bring such bad luck upon yourself, that you'll not get clear afterwards! USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. But just consider yourself, how'll I have the nerve to show my face before Samsón Sílych?

OLIMPIÁDA SAMSÓNOVNA. Bah, what nonsense you're chattering, Ustinya Naúmovna! Now, what struck you to come here? USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. What nonsense, my jewel! Here's what's up. Whether you like it or not, you can't help it. If you like to slide down-hill you've got to pull up your sled. Now, why have you forgotten me completely, my jewels? Or haven't you had a chance yet to look about you?

Well, who is the woman? FOMÍNISHNA. There, there now, you're clever, but no guesser; it couldn't be anybody else but Ustinya Naúmovna. LÍPOCHKA. Ah, mamma, how lucky! AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. Where has she been all this time? Bring her in quickly, Fomínishna. FOMÍNISHNA. She'll appear herself in a second. She stopped in the yard, quarrelling with the porter; he didn't open the door quickly enough.

But, you see, I couldn't neglect anything; I'm an indispensable person everywhere. Naturally, my jewel, every person is a human being: a man needs a wife, a girl a husband; give it to them if you have to rob the cradle; then here and there there's a genuine wedding. And who fixes them up? Why, I do. Ustinya Naúmovna has to bear the burden for all of them. And why does she have to?