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USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. Buy it in bulk, I suppose? AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. By the gallon. What should you want to buy in small quantities for? Our expenses, you see, are heavy. USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. What's the use of talking, my dear, what's the use!
What nonsense! BOLSHÓV. If you won't sit down, I'll sit you down, and put an end to your monkey-business! LÍPOCHKA. Who ever heard of educated young ladies being married off to their employees! BOLSHÓV. Better shut up! USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. Say, now, Agraféna Kondrátyevna, if that isn't a pity! AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. I myself, the mother, am as much in the dark as a clothes-closet.
USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. I'll show you up, my jewels: you'll find out! I'll give you such a rep in Moscow that you won't dare show your face in public! Oh! I'm a fool, a fool to have anything to do with such a person! And I, a lady of rank and position! PODKHALYÚZIN. Well, the blue-blooded lady flew off the handle! Oh, Lord, what an official she is!
What a little story, eh? Oh, my holy saints! What in the world is this? Fomínishna! Fomínishna! BOLSHÓV. Stop, you gabbler! Now you two just sit down side by side, and we'll have a look at you. Fomínishna, bring up a little bottle of fizz. PODKHALYÚZIN and LÍPOCHKA sit down. The same, USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA, and RISPOLÓZHENSKY
USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. Curst if I do! You may chop off my hand! PODKHALYÚZIN. That's it, ma'am; a promise is better than money. USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. Of course. Well, what do you know? PODKHALYÚZIN. Here's what, Ustinya Naúmovna: isn't it possible to throw over that suitor you've found, ma'am? USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. What's the matter with you; are you gone daft? PODKHALYÚZIN. Gone daft nothing, ma'am!
FOMÍNISHNA. Ha, what a fidgety child you are! AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA and USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. Won't you have a sip of cordial before your tea, Ustinya Naúmovna? USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. Don't care if I do, my jewel. USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. You ought to drink first, my pearl. AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. I'll look out for myself! USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. Ya! Phoo! Where d'you get this decoction?
Hooray, Olimpiáda Samsónovna! You've treated me fine! Your little hand, please! Enter TISHKA with the pipe. TISHKA. Ustinya Naúmovna has come. PODKHALYÚZIN. What the devil is she here for! TISHKA goes out. The same and USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. How are you managing to live, my jewels? PODKHALYÚZIN. Thanks to your prayers, Ustinya Naúmovna, thanks to your prayers.
BOLSHÓV. Drink to their happiness, Sysóy Psoich. RISPOLÓZHENSKY. I can't, Samsón Sílych it turns my stomach! BOLSHÓV. Go along with you! Drink to their happiness. USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. He's always showing off! RISPOLÓZHENSKY. It turns my stomach, Samsón Sílych! By heaven, it does! I'll just take a thimbleful of vodka. But my nature won't stand the other. I have such a weak constitution.
AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. I see I'll have to ask Samsón Sílych for a couple of fivers for you. USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. That's all right, my jewel, I don't mind! And he has peasants, wears a norder on his neck; and as for intellect, why, he's simply a bonanza. AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. Then, Ustinya Naúmovna, you ought to have informed him that our daughter hasn't got piles of money.
OLIMPIÁDA SAMSÓNOVNA. Well, and the satin, too it's not quite the thing, cut ballroom style, very low you understand? But I'll look up a crape Rachel jacket; we'll let out the tucks, and it'll fit you like the paper on the wall. USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. Well, bring on your tripe Rachel! You win, my ruby; go open the clothes closet. OLIMPIÁDA SAMSÓNOVNA. Right away; wait just a minute.
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