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Updated: May 12, 2025
They think more of the creeds, the outward husks of things than the inside life and truth. Miss Meechim said with her eye still on the bark that no tree could live two centuries and still look so vigorous. But I sez, "Mount Sinai looks pretty firm and stiddy, and the Red Sea I spoze looks jest about as red and hearty as it did when the Israelites crossed it."
Aunt Hetty Sidman said, "If men had to born 'em and nuss 'em themselves, she didn't spoze they would be so enthusiastick about it after they had had a few, 'specially if they done their own housework themselves," and Aunt Hetty said that some of the men who wuz exhortin' wimmen to have big families, had better spend some of their strength and wind in tryin' to make this world a safer place for children to be born into.
You may not believe it, but it is true, and I d'no but it is bigger. It used to accommodate one hundred thousand people in its palmy days, or so I spoze they called it, when some time durin' one season five thousand beasts would be killed there fightin' with human bein's, hull armies of captives bein' torn to pieces there for the delight of them old pagans.
And when I say that I don't want it understood that I believe she did all her cryin' that way. No, I spoze she could draw on her imagination and feelin's to that extent and git 'em so rousted up that she did actually shed tears, wet tears jest like anybody, some of the time, and some she made, so I spoze.
So he camped down before it, as you may say, for life that is, he thought so; but Providence wuz a-watchin' over him, and his thoughtful, unselfish kindness to a stranger, or strangers, wuz to be rewarded with the prize of love and bliss. Wall, the World's Fair wuz, I spoze, looked on by many a pair of glad eyes. Hearts that throbbed high with happiness beat on through them majestic rooms.
And as it wuz a man-eatin' tribe he went to preach to, and as he hain't been heern of from that day to this, it is spozed that they eat him up some years ago. But it is thought that Submit hain't gin up hope yet. We spoze so, but don't know, on account of her never sayin' anything on the subject. But we judge from the plate.
I spoze my noble mean, made more noble fur by the magnitude of what I wuz carryin', impressed him, for suffice it to say inside of five minutes the Presence wuz back in his augience room, and I wuz layin' out them errents of Serepta's in front of him. He wuz very hefty, a good-lookin' smilin' man, a politer demeanored gentlemanly appearner man I don't want to see.
"But," I sez, "I believe there is sunthin' wrong about 'em. It hain't nateral for men to stand still so long holt of hands. I believe they're in a fit or sunthin'." "A fit!" sez he. "I spoze a woman would have a fit if she had to keep still a minute with another woman in gunshot of her. "But to satisfy you," sez he, "I'll see." So he accosted 'em, and sez he, "I will ask the way to Noah's Ark."
And he sez, "I shouldn't think you would dast to talk so about Uncle Sam; you have always pretended to like him you would never bear to hear a word agin him." "Wall," sez I, "it is because I like him that I want him to do right. Do you spoze a mother don't like a child when she spanks him for temper, or blisters him for croup, or gives him worm-wood for worms?
Models of ox-carts, used in Jacob's time, and in which, I dare presoom to say, Old Miss Jacob ust to go a-visitin' to old Miss Abraham and Isaac, and mebby stay all day, she and the children. And pneumatic tubes that I spoze will be used fur more in the future, and for more various uses, and all kinds of balloons and air-ships.
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