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Updated: June 4, 2025
They played together, they lived together; together they tended deestrick school an' went huckleberryin'; there wuz huskin's an' spellin' bees an' choir meetin's an' skatin' an' slidin' down-hill oh, the happy times uv youth! an' all those times our boy Cyrus an' their leetle Lizzie went lovin'ly together!
Thim that takes two goes on th' comity iv th' wave iv rayform. "It sthruck th' r-road las' week. Darcey, th' new polisman on th' bate, comes in here ivry night f'r to study spellin' an' figgers. I think they'll throw him down, whin he goes to be examined. Wan iv th' wild la-ads down be th' slough hit him with a brick wanst, an' he ain't been able to do fractions since.
A person's name is what their folks name 'em, ain't it? Your ma comes acrost a name in a book that she likes the looks of, and she takes it to spell Pish, and she ups and names you Pish, and we all calls you Pish and Pishy, and then when you toddle off to public school and let 'em know how you spell it they tell you it's something else an outlandish name if spellin' means anything.
Susan darlin', it's Jo Bumpus as would give all he has in the world, includin' his Sunday clo'se, to be anchored alongside o' ye at that same farm! `Sanfransko. I misdoubt the spellin' o' that word, Susan dear; it seems to me raither short, as if ye'd docked off its tail. Howsomever `For John bumpuss' O Susan, Susan! if ye'd only remember the big B, and there ain't two esses.
"I'm terrible anxious to learn to read the long words without spellin' them." And then he stopped and looked hesitatingly at Grace. "Would ye take Jean, I wonder?" he said, coming a few steps on the stones in his eagerness. "She's my sister, and a good bit littler than me, and she can't read any, but I'm thinkin' she could learn," he added, in a sanguine tone.
Both she and Brother knew a good deal about what went on in classrooms, because they had listened to the older children recite. "How much is sixty-eight times ninety-two?" asked Teacher-Sister importantly. Brother made several marks on the blackboard with the crayon. "Nine hundred," he answered doubtfully. "Correct," said the teacher kindly. "Now I'll hear the class in spellin'."
"I can't say," said the Trapper, as he backed off a few paces and looked at the writing critically, "I can't say that the wordin' be exactly as the missioners would put it, and as for the spellin', I haven't any more confidence in it than a rifle that loads at the breech pin.
An' then he propped hisself up on a pile o' grist, an' thar he read all the sayin's ez war writ in that letter. An' a power o' time it tuk, an' a power o' spellin' an' bodaciously wrastlin' with the alphabit." He laughed lazily, as he turned his quid of tobacco in his mouth, recollecting the turbulence of these linguistic turmoils.
"I don't believe wan wurrud iv what's in th' pa-apers about Chiny," said Mr. Hennessy. "Well," said Mr. Dooley, "if ye believe annything ye'll believe ivrything. 'Tis a grand contist that's goin' on between Westhren an' Easthren civilliezation. 'Tis a joke iv me own, Hinnissy, an' ye'd undherstand it if ye knew spellin.
"DEAR NEFFY, I never was much of a hand at spellin', an' I'm not rightly sure o' that word, howsever, it reads all square, so ittle do. If I had been the inventer o' writin' I'd have had signs for a lot o' words. Then round would have bin far better O, like that.
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