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"And then," sez he, a-brightenin' up, "I don't want to skair you. You'd most probable be skairt into a fit if it should break loose and start off independent into space. And it would take away all my enjoyment of such a pleasure excursion to see you a-layin' on the earth in a fit." Sez I, "It hain't vests or affection that holds you back, Josiah Allen it's fear."
And then I'd say, "Samuel, you did a foolish thing after the Civil war, you did it with the best of motives, and you needn't be skairt, I hain't goin' to scold you for it, but it wuz jest like turnin' a company of babies out into the world and tellin' 'em they wuz jest as tall and inteligent as their pas and mas and they must go on and take care of themselves, and with their utter lack of all knowledge and strength take an equal part in public affairs.
Arvilly had to kinder feed the invalid man, Cephus Shute by name had to kinder kneel down by him and hold the plate and teacup, and help him to eat. And, strange to say, Arvilly wuzn't skairt a mite she ruther enjoyed it of the two; for before two days wuz over she owned up that if there wuz any extra good bits she'd ruther he'd have 'em than to have 'em herself.
But three times it fell, and each time the yellin' wuz such that it skairt the author of "Peaceful Repose," and me, almost to death. The machine wuz in plain sight of the house, and every time we see the horse's head come a mountin' up on top of the machine, we expected that over it would go.
"How can you tell what you can do without tryin'?" sez he lookin' shrewdly, and longingly, up the slide. I trembled, for I knew not what the next move of his would be. But I bethought me of a powerful weepon I had by me. And I sez, "The driver will ask pay for every minute we are here." And as I sez this, Josiah turned and almost flew down the steps and into the buggy. I had skairt him.
He kinder shook as if he wuz skairt most to death and tremblin' with horrow. He did it to skair me, I knew, but I knowed I meant well towards the Constitution and our old forefathers; and my principles stiddied me and held me firm and serene. And when he asked me agin in tones full of awe and horrow: "Can it be that I heard my ear aright?
Elburtus had finished loadin' the salt, and now he wus a holdin' the horses for the man to load some spring-beds. And the horses wus skairt by 'em, and wuz jest a liftin' Elburtus right up offen his feet. Why, they pranced, and tore, and lifted him up, and switched him round, and then they'd set him down with a crash, and whinner.
And I spoze Sister Sypher wuz skairt almost into fits to hear Arvilly go on, 'tennyrate she left her sudden and to once, and started home 'cross lots almost on the run, and Arvilly come into the house talkin' and mutterin'.
"Yes," sez he, "that is one of the pints I have been explainin' to you," and then he went on agin real high headed, and skairt, about the old ground, of the willingness of the meetin' house to shelter wimmen in its folds, and how much they needed gaurdin' and guidin', and about their delicacy of frame, and how unfitted they wuz to tackle anything hard, and what a grief it wuz to the male sect to see 'em a-tryin' to set on Conferences or mount rostrums, etc., etc.
"Yes," sez he, "that is one of the pints I have been explainin' to you," and then he went on agin real high headed, and skairt, about the old ground, of the willingness of the meetin' house to shelter wimmen in its folds, and how much they needed gaurdin' and guidin', and about their delicacy of frame, and how unfitted they wuz to tackle anything hard, and what a grief it wuz to the male sect to see 'em a-tryin' to set on Conferences or mount rostrums, etc., etc.
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