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Updated: June 12, 2025
"Well then, Molly, I was about to say, when my secretary interrupted me, that he and I have at last come to an agreement. After much explanation, I have got him to understand that a king cannot possibly manage all his own affairs with his own hands, and that I am forced to have a secretary, who can at least do the `three R's' pretty well.
Another thing, Azalea is a poor speller, and she herself spells very with two r's. She did in a dinner acceptance she wrote and referred to me for approval. So, when I saw that word misspelled twice in the letter we're talking of, I knew she wrote it, I mean, it corroborated my belief. Now, Patty, we've a peculiar case to deal with, and we must feel our way. This telephoning business is serious.
I suppose fifty-year-old birthday parties should lead one to serious thinking! But now show me how far your nonsense rhyming has progressed. It's nearly supper time." The Three R's were early comers and late stayers. Before the summer twilight was over, they had gathered in force. Alice, counting, suddenly said: "Why, there are just forty-nine. Wouldn't it be fun if just one more should come?"
He could not bear her vowels, her 'r's'; he resented the way she had looked at him, as if it were his fault that Annette could never bear him a son! His fault! He even resented her cheap adoration of the daughter he had not yet seen. Curious how he jibbed away from sight of his wife and child! One would have thought he must have rushed up at the first moment.
He moved among us in a cloud of legend, the wigged and wrinkled, the impassioned, though I think alas underfed, M. Bonnefons: it was our belief that he "went back," beyond the first Empire, to the scenes of the Revolution this perhaps partly by reason, in the first place, of his scorn of our pronunciation, when we met it, of the sovereign word liberté, the poverty of which, our deplorable "libbeté," without r's, he mimicked and derided, sounding the right, the revolutionary form out splendidly, with thirty r's, the prolonged beat of a drum.
"The Three R's will be interested," said Catherine, "though it is not Rest, Recreation or Refreshment!" "And all the churches." "And the school teachers." "And there are Miss Ainsworth's novels." "Algernon, how perfectly splendid! Do you suppose she would let us have them?" "I don't see why not. They simply stand there, never opened. She can't any more than refuse. I'll ask her."
But his r's rolled like an unstrung drum, and his n's twanged like a cracked banjo. On the subject of the proper amount of provisions to take with us for our six weeks' camping trip he wandered wildly.
A Dowie wuggedness of speech I weally can't attain, And though gwammawians may wave in leadewetts and pars, I quite agwee with good JAMES PAYN that all their wow is vain, The angwy wout must do without "the wolling of the r's!"
He received a fair schooling for those times the three R's and taught school one or two winters. His reading was the Bible and hymn-book, his weekly secular paper, and a monthly religious paper. He used to say that as a boy he was a very mean one, saucy, quarrelsome, and wicked, liked horse-racing and card-playing both alike disreputable in those times.
The ones who had been there the first day came again and brought others with them worse than themselves, and they seemed more at home than ever, and the air was full of rolling r's among them, Mr. Twist was unable to deny, being the r's of his blessed Annas. But theirs were such little r's, he told himself. They rolled, it is true, but with how sweet a rolling.
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