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Updated: June 18, 2025
He pulled up suddenly one evening as he saw his tenacious friend, accompanied by a lady-member, some little distance ahead. Then he sprang forward with fists clenched as a passer-by, after scowling at Mr. Purnip, leaned forward and deliberately blew a mouthful of smoke into the face of his companion. Mr. Billing stopped again and stood gaping with astonishment.
It's cheered 'em up wonderful. You and Mr. Purnip are quite right. I can see that now. You can tell him that it was you what put it into my 'art." "Me? Why, I never dreamt o' such a thing," declared the surprised Mr. Billing. "And there's other ways of doing good besides asking a pack of old women in to tea." "I know there is," said his wife.
Billing's eyes moist with admiration. It was over at last. The aggressor went limping off, and Mr. Purnip, wiping his bald head, picked up his battered and dusty hat from the roadway and brushed it on his sleeve. He turned with a start and a blush to meet the delighted gaze of Mr. Billing. "I'm ashamed of myself," he murmured, brokenly "ashamed." "Ashamed!" exclaimed the amazed Mr. Billing.
"Wot's good enough for me ought to be good enough for them," said Mr. Billing, modestly. "They'd better not let me catch " "H'sh! H'sh!" breathed Mr. Purnip, tilting his hat and wiping his bald, benevolent head. "I forgot," said the other, with something like a sigh. "No more fighting; but suppose somebody hits me?" "Turn the other cheek," replied Mr. Purnip.
As an earnest of good faith, he consented, after a short struggle, to a slip of oil-cloth for the passage; a pair of vases for the front room; and a new and somewhat expensive corn-cure for Mrs. Billing. "And let's 'ope you go on as you've begun," said that gratified lady. "There's something in old Purnip after all. I've been worrying you for months for that oilcloth.
"I 'ope he didn't disturb you," said his wife, anxiously. "You've done it," replied Mr. Billing. "You've upset everything now. Since I joined the Purnip lot everybody's took advantage of me; now I'm going to get some of my own back. You wouldn't ha' dreamt of behaving like this a few weeks ago." "Oh, Joe!" said his wife, entreatingly; "and everybody's been so happy!"
Billing's eyes moist with admiration. It was over at last. The aggressor went limping off, and Mr. Purnip, wiping his bald head, picked up his battered and dusty hat from the roadway and brushed it on his sleeve. He turned with a start and a blush to meet the delighted gaze of Mr. Billing. "I'm ashamed of myself," he murmured, brokenly "ashamed." "Ashamed !" exclaimed the amazed Mr. Billing.
It's cheered 'em up wonderful. You and Mr. Purnip are quite right. I can see that now. You can tell him that it was you what put it into my 'art." "Me? Why, I never dreamt o' such a thing," declared the surprised Mr. Billing. "And there's other ways of doing good besides asking a pack of old women in to tea." "I know there is," said his wife.
Purnip smiled, and, as they walked along, painted a glowing picture of the influence to be wielded by a first-class fighting-man who refused to fight. It was a rough neighbourhood, and he recognized with sorrow that more respect was paid to a heavy fist than to a noble intellect or a loving heart. "And you combine them all," he said, patting his companion's arm. Mr. Billing smiled.
"And what about telling lies?" demanded his wife. "What would your Mr. Purnip say to that?" "You do as you're told," exclaimed the harassed Mr. Billing. "I'm not going to tell 'em; it's you." Mrs. Billing returned to the parlour, and, with Mr.
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