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Updated: June 18, 2025
"Why, a pro couldn't ha' done better." "Such an awful example," moaned the other. "All my good work here thrown away." "Don't you believe it, sir," said Mr. Billing, earnestly. "As soon as this gets about you'll get more members than you want a'most. I'm coming back, for one." Mr. Purnip turned and grasped his hand. "I understand things now," said Mr. Billing, nodding sagely.
Billing, briefly. "Did you wipe your boots?" Her husband turned without a word, and, retreating to the mat, executed a prolonged double-shuffle. "You needn't wear it out," said the surprised Mrs. Billing. "We've got to make people 'appier," said her husband, seriously; "be kinder to 'em, and brighten up their dull lives a bit. That's wot Mr. Purnip says."
Billing, briefly. "Did you wipe your boots?" Her husband turned without a word, and, retreating to the mat, executed a prolonged double-shuffle. "You needn't wear it out," said the surprised Mrs. Billing. "We've got to make people 'appier," said her husband, seriously; "be kinder to 'em, and brighten up their dull lives a bit. That's wot Mr. Purnip says."
After comparing notes with neighbours, feel deeply grateful to Q.M.S. Beddem for sending me the best six men in the corps. July 15. Feel glad to have been associated, however remotely and humbly, with a corps, the names of whose members appear on the Roll of Honour of every British regiment. Mr. Purnip took the arm of the new recruit and hung over him almost tenderly as they walked along; Mr.
His explanation to his indignant wife that, having turned the other cheek the night before, he was in no mood for further punishment, was received in chilling silence. "They'll soon get tired of it," he said, hopefully; "and I ain't going to be beat by a lot of chaps wot I could lick with one 'and tied behind me. They'll get to understand in time; Mr. Purnip says so.
The aggressor was getting up from the pavement, while Mr. Purnip, in an absolutely correct attitude, stood waiting for him. Mr. Billing in a glow of delight edged forward, and, with a few other fortunates, stood by watching one of the best fights that had ever been seen in the district. Mr. Purnip's foot-work was excellent, and the way he timed his blows made Mr.
"You ought to know best," he said, modestly. "You'll be surprised to find how easy it is," continued Mr. Purnip. "You will go from strength to strength. Old habits will disappear, and you will hardly know you have lost them. In a few months' time you will probably be wondering what you could ever have seen in beer, for example."
The little knot of earnest men and women who had settled in the district to spread light and culture had been angling for him for some time. He wondered, as he walked, what particular bait it was that had done the mischief. "They've got me at last," he remarked, as he opened the house-door and walked into his small kitchen. "I couldn't say 'no' to Mr. Purnip." "Wish 'em joy," said Mrs.
Billing, simply. He finished the evening in the Blue Lion, where he had one bar almost to himself, and, avoiding his wife's reproachful glance when he arrived home, procured some warm water and began to bathe his honourable scars. "Mr. Purnip 'as been round with another gentleman," said his wife. Mr. Billing said, "Oh!" "Very much upset they was, and 'ope you'll go and see them," she continued.
"Why, a pro couldn't ha' done better." "Such an awful example," moaned the other. "All my good work here thrown away." "Don't you believe it, sir," said Mr. Billing, earnestly. "As soon as this gets about you'll get more members than you want a'most. I'm coming back, for one." Mr. Purnip turned and grasped his hand. "I understand things now," said Mr. Billing, nodding sagely.
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