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Updated: June 17, 2025
One evening, on the boulevard, he met one of his cousins whom he saw but very seldom. He was a pleasant journalist, well received in all classes of society, who offered to show Patissot many interesting things. "What are you going to do next Sunday?" "I'm going boating at Argenteuil." "Come on! Boating is an awful bore; there is no variety to it. Listen I'll take you along with me.
If I take a line along, it's only to do as others do." Monsieur Patissot, on the other hand, did not feel at all well. His discomfort, at first vague, kept increasing, and finally took on a definite form. He felt, indeed, as though he were being tossed by the sea, and he was suffering from seasickness.
Patissot surprised, looked at him. "Do you ever catch many?" "Never!" "What! Never?" The fat man, still smoking like a factory chimney, let out the following words, which completely upset his neighbor: "It would bother me a lot if they did bite. I don't come here to fish; I come because I'm very comfortable here; I get shaken up as though I were at sea.
It was a dismissal, and the two men, a little confused, arose. A desire seized Patissot; he wished this well-known person to say something to him, anything, some word which he could repeat to his colleagues; and, growing bold, he stammered: "Oh, monsieur! If you knew how I appreciate your works!" The other bowed, but answered nothing.
Monsieur Patissot was growing angry, and exclaimed: "And how about Madame Sand, monsieur?" "She is the one exception, monsieur, the one exception. I will quote to you another passage from another great philosopher, this one an Englishman, Herbert Spencer.
But one of the toughs near the coachman turned around, exclaiming: "And the fatted ox, where would you put him?" A laugh ran round the two benches. Patissot understood the objection, and murmured: "It might not perhaps be very dignified." The gentleman thought the matter over and admitted it.
As soon as they were in the car, which was already occupied by two gentlemen who wore the red ribbon and three ladies who must at least have been duchesses, they were so dignified, the big red-haired girl, who answered the name of Octavie, announced to Patissot, in a screeching voice, that she was a fine girl fond of a good time and loving the country because there she could pick flowers and eat fried fish.
The lady, hatless and astounded, choked with anger; her husband was outraged and demanded the price of the hat, and Patissot paid about three times its value. Then the family departed in a very dignified manner. Patissot took another rod, and, until nightfall, he gave baths to sand worms. His neighbor was sleeping peacefully on the grass. Toward seven in the evening he awoke.
I'll introduce you to two celebrities. We will visit the homes of two artists." "But I have been ordered to go to the country!" "That's just where we'll go. On the way we'll call on Meissonier, at his place in Poissy; then we'll walk over to Medan, where Zola lives. I have been commissioned to obtain his next novel for our newspaper." Patissot, wild with joy, accepted the invitation.
They decided that the following Sunday they would meet for the opening of the season for the edification of Patissot, who was delighted to have found such an experienced instructor. The day before the one when he was, for the first time in his life, to throw a hook into a river, Monsieur Patissot bought, for eighty centimes, "How to Become a Perfect Fisherman."
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