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"De stupendous and unprecedented gall some folks has is suttenly beyond comparination!" exploded Wash. "Dere is folks dat ain't nebber been to Bawston, eben, dat dares say dat we didn't go ter Alaska in a flyin' masheen, an' den fly away wid a piece ob dat kentry inter de cimcum-ambient air droppin' back on de same w'en we'd got t'roo wid it, an' landin' right outside de harbor of San Francisco.
'Play us th' "Wicklow Mountaineer," he says, 'an' threat th' masheen kindly, he says, 'She'll play no "Wicklow Mountaineer," says Mrs. Donahue. 'If ye want to hear that kind iv chune, ye can go down to Finucane's Hall, she says, 'an' call in Crowley, th' blind piper, she says. 'Molly, she says, 'give us wan iv thim Choochooski things, she said. 'They're so ginteel.
"And where do th' nickels come fr'm?" asked Mr. McKenna. "I put thim in," said Mr. Dooley. "Ivry twinty minutes I feed th' masheen a hatful iv nickels, so that whin me frinds dhrop in they won't be dissypinted, d'ye mind. 'Tis a fine invistment for a young man. Little work an' large profits. It rayminds me iv Hogan's big kid an' what he done with his coin.
Oh, hang it, I'm all in." And Bost sat down in the road. A hundred yards on we noticed Ole slacken speed. "It's sinking through his skull," said Harris eagerly. In another minute he had stopped. We picked up Bost again and ran up to him. He surveyed us long and critically. "Das ban qveer masheen," he said finally. "Aye tenk Aye lak Aye skoll be riding back in it.
You know dis yer life ev'lastin' w'at Miss Sally puts 'mong de cloze in de trunk; well, dat's rabbit terbacker. Den Brer Rabbit sot dar long time, he did, turnin' his mine over en wukken his thinkin' masheen. Bimeby he got up, en sorter stir 'roun'. Den Brer Wolf open up: "'Is de dogs all gone, Brer Rabbit? "'Seem like I hear one un um smellin' roun' de chimbly-cornder des now.
"Seems to me," observed Si, "it ain't hardly a fair shake for Uncle Sam to make us do our washin'. They ought to confiscate the niggers 'n' set them at it; or I don't see why the Guvyment can't furnish a washin' masheen for each comp'ny! 'Twouldn't be no more'n the square thing!"
"Humph! though it is hot enough without, I shouldn't mind being at one more fire!" said Webster, who, like most New Yorkers of a certain age, had once in his time "run wid der masheen." "But where is that gentleman from the South?" asked Crawford. "He may give us a pop directly look out!" "The no-coated devil!" said Webster. "He was dodging behind that big oak a moment ago.
His parunts lived near by, and I will simply state 15 minits had only elapst after the first act when he was carried home on a shutter. His mama met the sollum procession at the door, and after keerfully looking her orfspring over, she said: "My son, I see how it is distinctually. You've been foolin' round a Trashin Masheen.
"Ker-nell, par-don," says the little interpreter after a snappy French salute which is recognized by a slight motion of the colonel's thumb in the general direction of his ear. "Ze sarzhont, she say, zat ze French man will please to have ze tobak, ze masheen gun am-mu-nish-own and ze soap."
An' how we cheered in th' theaytre to see th' cute little sojers iv th' Mickydoo mowin' down th' brutal Rooshyan moojiks with masheen guns. An' fin'lly, whin th' Japs had gone a thousand miles into Rooshyan territory an' were about busted an' ayether had to stop fightin' or not have car fare home, our worthy Prisident, ye know who I mean, jumped to th' front an' cried: 'Boys, stop it.
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