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Updated: September 7, 2025
My Fort is the grate moral show bizniss & ritin choice famerly literatoor for the noospapers. That's what's the matter with ME. &c., &c., &c. So I mite go on to a indefnit extent. Twict I've endeverd to do things which thay wasn't my Fort. The fust time was when I undertuk to lick a owdashus cuss who cut a hole in my tent & krawld threw.
"I jest meandered into that shop over there, and I sez, 'I want ter see the man ez runs this yer mill o' literatoor an' progress. Thar waz two infants sittin' on high chairs havin' some innocent little game o' pickin' pieces o' lead outer pill-boxes like, and as soon ez they seed me one of 'em crawled under his desk and the other scooted outer the back door.
"And still sellin' works of literatoor, are you? Pap, this is my old boyhood's chum come meanderin' backwards out of the past. And still sellin' books! Well, I don't want to discourage your ambitiousness, but I guess you've struck Kilo about the worst time in the century. Ever hear of a literary writer called Sir Walter Scott? Well, sir, Kilo is chuck full of Sir Walter; full as a goat.
Iowa is now a grand State, an as full of culture as a Swiss cheese is full of holes, an' I don't take all the credit for it; I give Eliph' his share. Hotels help to scatter the seed, but literatoor scatters more.
Timotheus Simpkins, unaware that he was observed, was executing a most fantastic jig in the middle of the road. "I've did it naow, I bet ye 'n even Joel 'll have ter admit I'm a sight bigger'n anybody 'n taown. Good-bye ter farmin' and hooray fer literatoor, I say." "Wal, be ye losin' yer senses, er clean gone crazy?" asked Mrs. Hodgkins in disgust.
Them dogs wuz jest inflamed by havin' yellow literatoor shook in their faces, and yells from greedy politicians and time servers, till they wuz howlin' mad and would have barked themselves blind if he hadn't leggo. But he didn't want to, William didn't, he wanted peace dreadfully." And she said real sweet, that she knew he did. "Well, it turned out jest as it did, Ulaly.
I tried cotton cloth, carbide, lamb's wool blankets, Panama Canal, literatoor, X rays, hens' eggs, Standard Oil, the school mom, reciprocity, and the tariff; not a mite of change, all his idees swoshin' up against them islands, and tryin' to float off our minds there with hisen.
Timotheus told my father that 'the money showed that his "literatoor" was wuth something but that the editor man must be dull ter think that it was anything but a tremenjous hefty comp'sition. "Old Mr.
"'This was indeed true. I saw it was all good sense. Horses don't take to literatoor like they does to hay.
It don't print stories with piruts and honist young men into 'em, makin' the piruts splendid fellers and the honist young men dis'gree'ble idiots so that our darters very nat'rally prefer the piruts to the honist young idiots; but it gives us good square American literatoor. The chaps that write for the "Atlantic," Betsy, understand their bizness. They can sling ink, they can.
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