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Updated: May 26, 2025
When you looked at the picture close to, it was a meaningless mass of coloured smudges, but when you stood fifteen feet away from it the portrait was absolutely lifelike, amazing, miraculous. It was so wondrously lifelike that some of the inhabitants of the Five Towns burst out laughing. Many people felt sorry not for Sir Jee but for Lady Dain. Lady Dain was beloved and genuinely respected.
And then she sez, kinder wheedlin': 'But you will marry yer Sairy Anne, Johnnie, won't ye? And then, gittin' scared, I kinder forgot my manners, fer I said: 'No I'm d d if I will! An' I disremember what she said nex', but I found myself in the road, a-runnin' like a mad steer. Jee! that road was hotter'n a red-hot stove!"
He made a few facetious references to the episode of the Countess's arrival, and brought the house down by saying that if he did his duty he would arrest both the Countess and Denry for driving to the common danger. When he sat down, amid tempestuous applause, there was a hitch. According to the official programme Sir Jehoshophat Dain was to have seconded the vote, and Sir Jee was not there.
"Seelim Jee!" shouted Joe, and the old gentleman who had visited McKay that morning came ambling up from the cellar below. "Is that old idiot to go with me? Why, he speaks no known tongue!" cried McKay. "Only Tartar. You know no Tartar? Well, he understand the stick. Show it him so," and Joe made a motion of striking the old man, who bent submissively to receive the blow.
Then the door of the room where the other freshmen were confined was thrust open, and Harry Rattleton excitedly cried: "Whee jiz I mean jee whiz! what do you fellows think? Do you imagine we are going to stay penned in here while there is a scrap going on? Well, I guess not! We're coming out!"
His linen collar was brown with dirt, his fingers were dirty, his hair was unkempt and long, and a young and lusty black beard was sprouting on his chin. His boots were not at all pleasant. 'Yes, governor, Smith replied, lightly, with a Manchester accent. 'And what's YOUR game? Sir Jee was taken aback.
'What ARE you getting at? William Smith was genuinely astonished. 'At my residence, Sneyd Castle, Sir Jee proceeded, 'there's a large portrait of myself in the dining-room that I want to have stolen. You understand? 'Stolen? 'Yes. I want to get rid of it. And I want er people to think that it has been stolen.
"But the man was the funniest thing," said Bobaday. "He just talked poetry all the time, and Grandma said he was daft. I'd like to talk that way myself, but I can't make it jee." Zene observed mysteriously, that there were some queer folks in this section. Yes, Bobaday admitted; the landlord was as Dutch as sour-krout. Zene observed that all the queer folks wasn't Dutch.
He, the chairman of the borough Bench, and the leading philanthropist in the country, to be so spoken to! But what could he do? He himself had legally established Smith's innocence. Smith was as free as air, and had a perfect right to adopt any tone he chose to any man he chose. And Sir Jee desired a service from William Smith.
This, of course, was mere crude insolence to the titled philanthropic white-beard. But it was by no means the worst of Denry's behaviour. The group every member of the group distinctly perceived a movement of Denry's left hand towards Sir Jee. It was the very slightest movement, a wavering, a nothing. It would have had no significance whatever, but for one fact.
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