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I always sy to Bert we 'ave the most interestin' pubs in London on this route, White 'Orse, the 'Orns, the Elephant an' the Ayngel. Ever 'eard of the Ayngel at Islington?" "Yes," said John, "That's where Paine wrote The Rights of Man." "Did 'e?" the driver answered. "Well, I dessay 'e did. It's a celebrated 'ouse, it is. Celebrated in 'istory. There's a song abaht it. You know it, down't you!...
Stopping before the portrait of an officer in uniform, he drew us all together. The Canadians, headed by Mr. Pabbley, were well to the fore, and it was to them in particular that he appeared to address himself when he said, "Take a good look at this picture, ladies and genelmen. There is a man wat lives in your 'istory an', if I may say, in your 'art as he does in ours.
The beef-eater got red in the face and said: "Begging your pardon, don't you know, but h'l was not 'ere at the time. This 'istory was made six 'undred years ago."
Where did you desert from?" "Khaki," said the young man, sitting down in his turn, "you are a shade better than your mates. You did not make much more noise than a yoke of oxen when you tried to come up this hill, but you are an ignorant diseased beast like the rest of your people eh? When you were at the Ragged Schools did they teach you any history, Tommy 'istory I mean?"
Fitzgerald 'avin' money in the bank, and everythin' respectable like a gentleman as 'e is, tho', to be sure, your bill might come down on him unbeknown, 'e not 'avin' kept it in mind, which it ain't everybody as 'ave sich a good memory as my aunt on my mother's side, she 'avin' been famous for 'er dates like a 'istory, not to speak of 'er multiplication tables, and the numbers of people's 'ouses."
"Knit hands and beat the ground In a light, fantastic round," would have shamed the skilled volubility of Sheharazade. "Look!" said the story-teller, summing up; "you take hanny 'istory of France an' see the hage of my familie. Pipple talk about de Boulignys, de Sauvés, de Grandprès, de Lemoynes, de St. Maxents, bla-a-a! De Grandissimes is as hole as de dev'! What?
'Seems rather a shyme to me to spoil your breakfast for wot's really ancient 'istory. He finished three parts of a bottle of champagne, and nibbled a corner of biscuit, with extreme deliberation; the captain sitting opposite and champing the bit like an impatient horse. Then Huish leaned his arms on the table and looked Davis in the face. 'W'en you're ready! said he.
I'll never forget how nice she's allus been to my gal 'ere, and to every gal in the show, for that matter. She's an angel if there ever was one. Don't interrupt, Casey. I've said it. You keep still, too, Ruby and don't sniffle like that, either. "I won't go into the 'istory of 'ow the Colonel tried to get 'er away from Tom.
"Peraps at this present momink of Railway Hagetation and unsafety the follying little istory of a young friend of mine may hact as an olesome warning to hother week and hirresolute young gents. "Young Frederick Timmins was the horphan son of a respectable cludgyman in the West of Hengland.
"Once h'every month, it is my turn to watch down 'ere, during the night. Some of us don't like to admit it, lady, but we h'all dread that! Many things which 'ave never been written down in 'istory, 'ave 'appened in these 'ere passages and cells!
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