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I wondher if two hundred years fr'm now people will cease to talk iv William Jennings Bryan. He won't, but will they? "Well, sir, it must be a grand thing to injye good books, but it must be grander still to injye anny kind iv books. Hogan can read annything. He ain't a bit particklar. He's tur-rbly addicted to th' habit.
Ye don't give it thim openly. Ye sind thim a bunch iv sweet peas with the money in it. This here larned counsel got wan honoraryum. But whin things begun to took tough f'r his protegee he suggested another honoraryum. Honoraryum is fr'm th' Latin wurruds honor an' aryum, mainin' I need th' money. "Yes, sir, ye can't injye a vacation without th' pa-apers.
He is sure to make th' team an' I wudden't mind seein' him captain iv it. 'Tis a gr-reat colledge afther all, an' if it makes me mad part iv th' time, because I'm always gettin' licked f'r what somebody else has done, on th' whole I injye it. Th' coorse is hard. Ivry man, woman, an' child is profissor an' student to ye. Th' examinations are tough.
But why shud we give thim a vote, says I. What have they done to injye this impeeryal suffrage that we fought an' bled f'r?
"Yah, yah, yah!" jeered one of the negroes who had come up with Foreman Corbett, as he gazed contemptuously up and down the bulky figure of Mr. Ebony. "Yo' done been tellin' us 'spectable cullud fo'ks dat de great way to injye life was to be tough an' smaht, lak yo'se'f. How ye' feel erbout it now? Doan' yo' wish yo' been mo' 'spectable yo'se'f?
He wishes Hivin to sink our ships an' desthroy our men; an' we hope he'll injye th' same gr-reat blessin'. We have a shade th' best iv him, f'r his fleets ar-re all iv th' same class an' ol' style, an' we have some iv th' most modhern prayin' machines in the warruld; but he prays har-rd, an' 'tis no aisy wurruk to silence him." "What d'ye think about it?" asked Mr. Hennessy. "Well," said Mr.
But don't ask f'r rights. Take thim. An' don't let anny wan give thim to ye. A right that is handed to ye f'r nawthin' has somethin' th' matther with it. It's more than likely it's on'y a wrong turned inside out, says I. 'I didn't fight f'r th' rights I'm told I injye, though to tell ye th' truth I injye me wrongs more; but some wan did.
"Well, sir," said Mr. Dooley, "I see they've been holdin' a Divoorce Congress." "What's that?" asked Mr. Hennessy. "Ye wudden't know," said Mr. Dooley. "Divoorce is th' on'y luxury supplied be th' law that we don't injye in Ar-rchey Road. Up here whin a marrid couple get to th' pint where 'tis impossible f'r thim to go on livin' together they go on livin' together.
Honoria'd set down at th' pianny, an' th' ol' man'd growl: 'F'r th' love iv th' saints, close down that hurdy-gurdy, an' lave a man injye his headache! An' th' good woman scolded Terence, an' th' kids pulled th' leg fr'm undher th' stove; an', whin th' big boy Mike come home fr'm Omaha, he found none iv thim speakin' to th' others. He cud do nawthin', an' he wint f'r Father Kelly.
Annyhow I was f'r makin' th' black man free, an' though I shtud be th' south as a spoortin' proposition I was kind iv glad in me heart whin Gin'ral Ulyss S. Grant bate Gin'ral Lee an' th' rest iv th' Union officers captured Jeff Davis. I says to mesilf, 'Now, I says,'th' coon'll have a chanst f'r his life, says I, 'an' in due time we may injye him, I says.
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