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"At their best, women are curiouser than transmogrified hullaloos, and when a real cute one sets out to hornswoggle a man he might as well lay down and give right up, for he hain't no earthly show. She gits away with him every time, and one to spare. That there woman's got the devil in her bigger'n a sheep, and she come nigher makin' putty o' your Uncle Ephraim than I ever dreamed of before.
In some trepidation he drew back and would have closed the door but for her eager remonstrance. "I must see you, Mr. Crow," she cried in a low, agitated voice. "Who are you?" he demanded. She was dressed entirely in black. "I came to see you about the baby." "That won't do, madam. There's been three tramps here to hornswoggle us an' I " "I must see her, Mr.
Also, just before I left I gave your future daughter-in-law her quarterly dividend you see, when her father died I had to sort of look after the family, and I ran a bluff that Kenyon had some Ricks Lumber & Logging Company stock you know, Joe. Proud stuff! I had to hornswoggle them. Well, as I say, I gave her the money, and my girl Florry went shopping with her. Sports clothes? Wow! Wow!
Please bank it to my credit and take up that note I gave the Marine National; then get the securities I hocked and tuck them back in my safe-deposit vault. As for the interest at five per cent, which the Ricks Lumber & Logging Company will have to pay on that million you borrowed to help Matt Peasley hornswoggle father, you just charge that to your personal account as a penance for your sins.
"When I came home to Palermo a year ago or so, after all my wanderin's, they wouldn't elect me so much as hog-reeve seemed to be down on me all 'round. But here heard what they did last night?" There was pride in his tones. "They elected me foreman of the Smyrna Ancient and Honer'ble Firemen's Association." "And you let 'em hornswoggle you into takin' it?" demanded the Cap'n.
I suppose my lack of experience was in my favor, for, after all, Eliza Shaeffer is a common enough name, and the "Horn" might have stood for "hornswoggle," for all I knew. The story of the man who thought of what he would do if he were a horse, came back to me, and for an hour or so I tried to think I was Jennie Brice, trying to get away and hide from my rascal of a husband. But I made no headway.
However, it's not too late yet. Poundstone is coming over to dinner Thursday night, and I'll wring the swine dry before he leaves the house. And as for those rails Cardigan managed to hornswoggle me out of " He seized the telephone and fairly shouted to his exchange operator to get his woods-foreman Jules Rondeau on the line. "That you, Rondeau?" he shouted when the big French Canadian responded.
Do you remember hearing me tell the story of the mate that thrashed the big Swede skipper I sent to Cape Town to thrash him and bring the vessel home?" "Do you mean the captain that never writes letters?" "That's the man. The fellow I've been having so much fun with the Nervy Matt that tried to hornswoggle me with my own photograph. Passed it off as his own, Florry!
"Do you surrender?" shouted a voice through a megaphone from the dirigible as it hovered above the stricken aeroplane. "Yes, hornswoggle you," roared Ben Stubbs, "but if it hadn't been for that gas-bag of yours you'd never have got us, and I can lick any man aboard yer with my fists or any other weapon."
I want you to go with me, because I am going to buy some cattle and I want you to confirm the deal." He laughed. "Do you reckon you need to go at all?" he said. "I figure to know cattle some myself, an' I wouldn't let Kelton hornswoggle me." She straightened, her chin lifting a little. "Well," she said slowly, "if that is the way you feel, I presume I shall have to go alone.
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