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Updated: June 4, 2025
"Them things," said Alfred the chauffeur, tapping the speed indicator with his fingers, "them things are all right for the police. But, Lord, you can fix 'em up if you want to. Did you ever hear about Henery, that used to drive for old John Bull about Henery and the elephant?" Alfred was chauffeur to a friend of mine who owned a very powerful car. Alfred was part of that car.
They talked it over next day with the other chaps; and Henery Walker said arterwards that p'r'aps it was talked over a bit too much.
"I can't just fetch my memory back to that particular incident, Henery," said Josiah, "but my recollection is that Gil Spoonholler held the school-house agin all comers, and that's sayin' a good deal, for we was tough as hickory when we was young." "The modern boys is soft," Aaron Kallaberger declared. "They regards the teacher in a friendlier light than they used to.
"You leave go o' my lodger," ses Bob Pretty. "You leave go o' my great-uncle my dear great-uncle," ses Henery Walker, as the old gentleman called 'im a bad name and asked 'im whether he thought he was made of iron. I believe they'd ha' been at it till closing-time, on'y Smith, the landlord, came running in from the back and told them to go outside.
Alcock and many of the town came and entertained us with wine and oysters and other things, and hither come Sir John Minnes to us, who is come to-day to see "the Henery," in which he intends to ride as Vice-Admiral in the narrow seas all this summer.
"Never should have thought she'd have growed up such a handsome body as she is." "'Tis to be hoped her temper is as good as her face." "Well, yes; but the baily will have most to do with the business and ourselves. Ah!" Henery gazed into the ashpit, and smiled volumes of ironical knowledge. "A queer Christian, like the Devil's head in a cowl, as the saying is," volunteered Mark Clark.
As we flew past a somnolent bush pub, Alfred, whistling softly, leant forward and turned on a little more oil. "You never heard about Henery and the elephant?" he said. "It was dead funny. Henery was a bushwacker, but clean mad on motorin'. He was wood and water joey at some squatter's place until he seen a motor-car go past one day, the first that ever they had in the districk.
Chambers about drowning 'is kittens, and he told me 'e hadn't slept a wink ever since. And he offered to take your old cat to make up for it, if you was tired of keeping it. "It was very 'ard on Henery Walker, I must say that. Other people was getting the credit of bringing up 'is kittens, and more than that, they used to ask Mr.
He sat still, looking at Bob Pretty, and at last 'e ses, 'Where was you? 'e s,es. "'Up another tree, Henery, where you couldn't see me, ses Bob Pretty, smiling at 'im. "Henery Walker, wot was drinking some beer, choked a bit, and then 'e put the mug down and went straight off 'ome without saying a word to anybody.
"You wouldn't understand if I didn't tell yer how he got the car and all that. So here's Henery," he went on, "with old John Bull goin' about in the fastest car in Australia, and old John, he's a quiet old geezer, that wouldn't drive faster than the regulations for anything, and that short-sighted he can't see to the side of the road. So what does Henery do?
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