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Updated: May 6, 2025
'The brat! says she, laughing like mad, 'oh, I got rid o' that when you were in jail, Bill. 'As how? says I. 'Why, there was a woman begging agin St. Poll's churchyard; so I purtended to see a frind at a distance: "'Old the babby a moment," says I, puffing and panting, "while I ketches my friend yonder."
McCarty took him to the Rookery the divil a mouthful he'd ate durin' the day and says, bein' a ginerous sort of body, come, take a drop, an' a bite to ate. Mister Toddleworth did that same, and thin lay the night on the floor. To-night it's the truth, God knows Tom Downey took him above. An' it's Tom who woundn't be the frind of the man who hadn't a shillin' in his pocket."
They ought to be kilt off as fast as they're caught." "They'll be that," said Mr. Dooley. "But killin' thim is like wringin' th' neck iv a mickrobe." "Hinnissy, if iver we have war with what me frind Carl Schurz'd call th' Mother County, it'll not come fr'm anny Vinnyzwalan question.
"Whin me frind Mack con-cluded 'twas time f'r us to stop fightin' an' begin skinning each other in what Hogan calls th' marts iv thrade, ye thought that ended it. So did Mack. He says, says he, 'Let us have peace, he says.
If he gets me, he must get me quick. Th' nex' night about dusk he come saunterin' up th' sthreet, swingin' his club an' jokin with his frind, whin some wan shouted, 'Look out, Clancy. He was not quick enough. He died face forward, with his hands on his belt; an' befure all th' wurruld Jack Carey come across th' sthreet, an' put another ball in his head.
'It is, says I. 'I was thinkin' las' night I'd give up me gredge again ye, says he. 'I had th' same thought mesilf, says I. 'But, since I seen ye'er face, he says, 'I've con-cluded that I'd be more comfortable hatin' ye thin havin' ye f'r a frind, says he. 'Ye're a man iv taste, says I. An' we backed away fr'm each other.
"So whin the borrower wint for the money, the banker sent out word that the securities wor not good enough, an' that he wouldn't advance a farden. "Then the borrower goes to his frind an' complains, an' thin the frind acts all out the way Gladstone'll act when the bill's refused at the Lords, or may be at the Commons. 'Hell to him, he roars, 'the blayguard thief iv a thievin' banker.
"Will you always think and spake of Barry will you always act to him and by him, and for him, not as a man whom you know and dislike, but as my brother your own Anty's only brother? Whatever he does, will you thry to make him do betther? Whatever troubles he's in, will you lend him your hand? Come what come may to him, will you be his frind? He has no frind now.
Maybe me frind Willum Taft had it put on th' free list. I see in a pa-aper th' other day that what was needed at th' White house was a little more spunk. But does he have to import it fr'm abroad, I ask ye? Isn't there enough American spunk? "Well, sir, there are a few iv th' things that are on th' free list. But there are others, mind ye.
I was a-lookin' for ye. I knowed ye'd prove yerself that frind in need that he's the frind indeed! Take a seat an' sit down." She faced about on the vine-covered porch, and dropped into a rocking-chair, her eyes still at the point of overflow. "But ah! Mr. Richlin', where's all thim flatterers that fawned around uz in the days of tytled prosperity?"
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