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Th' on'y man ye need to be afraid iv is th' man that's afraid iv ye. An' that's what makes a tyrant. He's scared to death. If I'd thought about it whin I r-read iv me frind murdherin' people I'd've known they'd find him thremblin' in a room an' shootin' at th' hired girl whin she come in with his porridge. So I'm glad afther all that I didn't put in me application. I want no man to fear me.
Now he bristled—and after looking up and down the board for a sympathetic face, and not finding one, he declared, loudly and generally, "’Tain’t so!" "Ye may have noticed that frind Simpson do be t’reatened wid lockjaw in the societee av min, but in the prisince av a female ye can’t count on him.
"Blur an' agers!" exclaimed Neal one day, when half tipsy in the fair, "am I never to get a bit o' figtin'? Is there no cowardly spalpeen to stand afore Neal Malone? Be this an' be that, I'm blue-mowlded for want of a batin'! I'm disgracin' my relations by the life I'm ladin'! Will none o' ye fight me aither for love, money, or whisky, frind or inimy, an' bad luck to ye?
Carlisle'd hand him out a plunk, a case, a buck. He'd say, 'Here, Larkin, ye're a dam fool to be malthreatin' th' currincy iv yer adophted counthry, but I have to give ye a dollar because ye're a good fellow an' a frind iv Dooley's." "He wouldn't say anything of the kind," said Mr. McKenna. "He'd give Larkin fifty cents." "I'd push his face in if he did," said Mr. Larkin, warmly.
'Me name's Dooley, I says. 'Here, say he to th' dure-keeper, 'don't stand in th' way iv th' sinitor iv th' State iv Mitchigan, he says. 'Lave him an' his frind go in, he says. I minded afther I was good to him whin Simon O'Donnell was chief iv polis, may he rest in peace! "Hinnissy an' me got a seat be some dhroll ol' boys fr'm out in Iaway.
It was very sudden; an', steppin' out iv th' ice-box where I slept in th' mornin', I got a chill. I wint for me flannels, an' stopped to look at th' thermomether. It was four hundherd an' sixty-five." "How much?" asked Mr. McKenna. "Four hundherd an' sixty-five." "Fahrenheit?" "No, it belonged to Dorsey. Ah! well, well, an' here's Cassidy. Come in, frind, an' have a shell iv beer.
Dooley, "I see me frind Tiddy Rosenfelt has been doin' a little lithry criticism, an' th' hospitals are full iv mangled authors. Th' next time wan iv thim nature authors goes out into th' woods lookin' f'r his prey he'll go on crutches." "What's it about?" asked Mr. Hennessy. "'Twas this way," said Mr. Dooley. "I have it fr'm Hogan, me lithry adviser.
"Bedad she ain't our frind, or, sure, she'd have come up an' spoke us dacintly, loike a jintleman," I heard Tim say to the sailmaker, outside the door of his cabin in the deck-house.
"If me yoong frind here an me roight"—and Costigan jerked a shoulder towards the boy—"will be afther closin’ that silf-feeding automatic dictionary av his for a moment, I shud be glad to call the attintion av the coomp’ny to somethin’ in the nature av an ixtinuatin’ circoomsthance in the case av Simpson." "Hear! hear!" they shouted.
I find that th' soul iv our late laminted frind weighed a light three pounds avirdoopoise. "No, sir, it won't do. 'Twill niver be popylar. People won't have their souls weighed. I wudden't f'r all th' wurruld have th' wurrud go through th' ward: 'Did ye hear about Dooley's soul? 'No, what? 'They had to get an expert accountant to figure its weight, it was that puny.
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