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Updated: June 29, 2025
Bellmour, you are not to know, 'tis with the Consent of Celinda, that you come I must bear all the blame, what Mischief soever comes of these Night-Works. Enter Bellmour. Oh, are you come Your Hour was Twelve, and now 'tis almost Two. Bel. I could not get from Friendlove Thou hast not told Celinda of my coming? Nur. No, no, e'en make Peace for me, and your self too. Bel.
And in three Weeks, should you wed a Cynthia, you'd be a Monster. Sir Tim. What, thou meanest a Cuckold, I warrant. God help thee! But a Monster is only so from its Rarity, and a Cuckold is no such strange thing in our Age. Enter Bellmour and Friendlove. But who comes here? Bellmour! Ah, my little dear Rogue! how dost thou? Ned Friendlove too! Dear Lad, how dost thou too?
During the brawl Diana issuing forth meets Celinda, and taking her for a boy leads her into the house and shortly makes advances of love. They are interrupted by Friendlove, disguised, and he receives Diana's commands to seek out and challenge Bellmour.
I shall be glad to see you all dispos'd of well; but I was half afraid, your Brother would have married Mrs. Celinda Friendlove, to whom he made notable Love in Yorkshire I thought: not but she's a fine Lady; but her Fortune is below that of my young Master's, as much as my Lady Diana's is above his But see, they come; let us retire, to give 'em leave to talk alone.
Sir, you know the old Cheat; hire a Lay Rascal in a Canonical Habit, and put a false Marriage upon her. Sir Tim. Sir Tim. Sham. And I will fit you with a Parson presently. SCENE III. A Street. Enter Friendlove disguis'd as before. Friend.
As your Friend the Hostess has it in a Play too, I take it, Ends which you pick up behind the Scenes, when you go to be laught at even by the Player-Women. Sir Tim. Wilt thou have done? By Fortune, I'll endure no more Nur. Murder, Murder! Cel. Hold, hold. Enter Friendlove, Bellmour, Sham and Sharp. Friend. What's the matter here? Why, how now, Sir Timothy, what, up in Arms with the Women?
Ha, Friendlove! Friend. Was it so kindly done, to gain my Sister Without my knowledge? Bel. Ah, Friend! 'Twas from her self alone That I wou'd take the Blessing which I ask. Friend. And I'll assist her, Sir, to give it you. Here, take him as an Honour, and be thankful. Bel. I as a Blessing sent from Heaven receive her, And e'er I sleep will justify my Claim, And make her mine. Friend.
Enter Sir Timothy, follow'd by Phillis, Sham, Sharp, and Betty Flauntit. Sir Tim. I am pursu'd by two impertinent Women; prithee, Friendlove, tell 'em I am gone out at the Backdoor, and send 'em away. Lord. What's the News here? Sir Tim. How, Celinda here, and Bellmour too! Nay, now wou'd I compound for my Life, at any rate, by Fortune. Phil.
Though I before had loaded up my Soul With Sins, that wou'd have weigh'd down any other, Yet this one more it bears, this Sin of Murder; And holds out still What have I more to do, But being plung'd in Blood, to wade it through? Enter Friendlove in Masquerade. A Jigg. Friend.
The ready Victim is the noblest way, Your Zeal and Obligations too to pay. Cel. I think the Gods wou'd hardly be ador'd, If they their Blessings shou'd, unask'd, afford; And I that Beauty can no more admire, Who ere I sue, can yield to my Desire. Dia. Enter Friendlove disguised, as one from a Camp. Cel. Friend.
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