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Updated: May 19, 2025
"Well," said Alice when the whir of his machine had died away, "what do you think of him?" "A very agreeable gentleman," I answered. "If he doesn't know porcelains, he fakes his talk admirably." "And as to fans " suggested Mrs. Farnsworth. I had not intended to mention Montani's interest in Alice's fan, and the remark surprised me. "Oh, I saw it all from the library," laughed Mrs. Farnsworth.
Lots of times you ain't quite sure whether guessing did it, or spirits. I've glimpsed the ring on a girl's left hand, and right then my voices have said, 'Engaged! Now was it me makin' that voice, or the spirit? I don't know. But when you begin to guess, you find how easy people are how they swallow fakes and cry for more. As sitters go, fakin' gets 'em a lot harder than the real stuff.
One by one Mr. Adams tells about these medical fakes: habit-forming laxatives, head-ache powders full of acetanilid, soothing-syrups and catarrh-cures full of opium and cocaine, cock-tails subtly disguised as "bitters", "sarsaparillas", and "tonics". He shows how the fake testimonials are made up and exploited; how the confidential letters, telling the secret troubles of men and women, are collected by tens and hundreds of thousands and advertised and sold so that the victim, as he begins to lose faith in one fake, finds another at hand, fully informed as to his weakness.
My eye, Bill! what words you fakes! Bill. Ain't he her natural enemy, then? Ain't it yer father as bumps yer 'ed, an' cusses ye, an' lets ye see him eat? Afore he gets our Mattie, I'll bite! Tho. Poor lad! poor lad! Dunnot say that! Her feyther's th' best freen' hoo's getten. Th' moor's th' pity, for it's not mich he can do for her. But he would dee for her he would. Go along, Daddy-devil!
What's more, they've been sent out indoctrinated with the idea that shoonoon are a lot of lying old fakes, and the shoonoon resent that. You know, they're not lying old fakes. Within their limitations, they are honest and ethical professional people." "Oh, come, now! I know, I think they're sort of wonderful, but let's don't give them too much credit." "I'm not. You're doing that." "Huh?"
Then, amid much talking, and with as many as three people speaking at once, the story was quickly recounted for Dr. Bentley. "We've seen the fellow before," Dick explained, "but he always fakes alarm and vanishes. We call him our man of mystery -the Man with the Haunting Face." "Some poor, simple-minded fellow," suggested Dr. Bentley.
He's hunting another job right now. The machine is his, and it's the only one of its kind. We sent Mike Malone in for a treatment. He says the machine is good. Apparently it's nothing but a hood with three massage machines installed on spring mounts, so they fit the head. The barber applies oil, then turns on the machine. It has dials, but they're fakes.
"Now the thing of it is, will grandpa be as easy? He has such very queer thoughts on some things. Still, he's usu'ly right, too. I've found out that it is lots better to try to help such folks as the Home children 'stead of tramps and hand-organ men, who are only fakes or lazy-bones. There was Petri, now, he made loads of money off of Juiceharpie and Jocko, but he was mean as dirt to both of them.
I'm only saying that the least disturbance or error in calculation makes it almost impossible to find the exact spot. And if it's that hard on the surface, where you can see what you're doing, how much harder is it in regard to something on the bottom of the sea? So don't take any stock in these ocean treasure recovering companies. They may not be fakes, but they're mighty uncertain."
We had a hundred or so photos of flying saucers, both stills and movies. Many were fakes some so expert that it took careful study by photo interpreters to show how the photos had been faked. Some were the crudest of fakes, automobile hub caps thrown into the air, homemade saucers suspended by threads, and just plain retouched negatives.
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