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Updated: June 26, 2025
I have come out with different conceptions of things; moreover, I seem to have found the key to the scheme of my existence, and, though as yet only in a haunting way, to understand the underlying principle, working through all my dreamings, my failures, my mistakes, and my folly, towards my redemption."
In Benham's case we might trace it back to the Day Nursery at Seagate, we might detect it stirring already at the petticoat stage, in various private struttings and valiant dreamings with a helmet of pasteboard and a white-metal sword. We have most of us been at least as far as that with Benham.
But this meadow belonged to a squire, a young man with grand, broad shoulders, who day after day used to watch these readings by the river without venturing to address a word to the fair trespasser. One day, however, he was startled by a shriek: in her poetical dreamings the lady had slipped into the water.
She in a shower of damask roses, raised her eyes and looked at me. And even now, in those sweet eyes, so deep with loving-kindness, and soft maiden dreamings, there seemed to be a slight unwilling, half confessed withdrawal; overcome by love and duty, yet a painful thing to see. 'Darling, I said, 'are your spirits good?
Good fortune had disclosed to them a meeting place as high as the waving treetops where no one's curious eye would penetrate; they could converse across the miles almost as people may call across a street; they could be together two or three times a week without their world knowing. These things gave wings to the summer. They were busy days, clad in action, crowned with dreamings.
It never never varied in the slightest detail, and he generally dreamed it on the night before some eventful, dangerful day on which he risked his life or fought for it. Of the early dreamings, of course, he understood little, but while he was still almost a boy he most fully understood the significance of every word, act, and detail of the marvellous, realistic dream.
Ralph, you must go to bed; you must indeed, sir," said the old butler, standing over him with a candle during one of these fitful dreamings. "Yes, Grey; yes, I will; directly. Put it down. Thank you. Don't mind sitting up," said Ralph, rousing himself in his chair. "It's past twelve," Mr. Ralph. "You can go to bed, you know, Grey." "No, sir; no. I'll see you to bed first. It'll be better so.
His dreamings and readings worked certain changes in him, by-and-by. His dream-people were so fine that he grew to lament his shabby clothing and his dirt, and to wish to be clean and better clad.
I caught the thrill of his confidence; but also, in this broad light of day, I felt the measure of alarm that lay behind. "You still have no strong impressions?" he asked. "Nothing happened in the night, for instance? No vivid dreamings?" He looked closely for my answer, I was aware. "I slept almost an unbroken sleep. I was tremendously tired, you know, and, but for the oppressive heat " "Good!
Robin was a genuine reason, but perhaps also at moments an excuse. Was there not sometimes in the quiet little house, quiet unless disturbed by babyhood's occasional outbursts, a strange new atmosphere, delicate and subdued, which hinted at silent walks, at twilight dreamings, at slowly pacing feet, bowed heads and wide-eyed contemplation?
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